We Dance

[For dear Carmen, 2nd April 2011]

I love the waltz
for that is when I can hold you near

Feel the beat of your breast
and the sweetness in your breath

I know I know
I should watch my step

As we twirl and swirl
in a room full of unfamiliar guests

But we do not stumble
you and I

For we have a rhythm
all of our own

I dare not grip you too hard
For with you I can only be tender

Who would not be
With such a creature so slender?

Just to gaze upon those eyes
so kind and gentle

Beyond the music
Beyond the dance

I am swooned
by your many wonders

The softness of your hair
The sweetness of your scent

The lure of your nape
The curve of your waist

Though I stand taller
you are the perfect fit

For us to glide and swoosh
across the floor and more

People look at us
and marvel at our grace

So effortless
So timeless

How did they become
so good, to gel so well

It's as if we were
from another age

When worries and cares
touch us not

When the world was kind
and generous

When the world I believe
was carefree and young?

There is nothing like the waltz
When two kindred souls step in tune

Heart beating as one
Hands clasping as one

The world can be a blur
for all I care

For only you I look
and behold

For only you
the music must play

For only you
my lips will whisper

This waltz, this waltz
I forever dance with you

- by TC Lai

A Need, a Want, a Desire

I was asked how love blooms

I said it requires no seed

Then I was asked why it festers

I said 'cos it's a want that comes from no need

But there's always a great need!

A need to be with that special someone!!!

Is it a need, I ask, or is it a desire?

A need can be satisfied but a desire lingers

Yes, yes, it's a desire!

Oh how I desire her so

But why? 'Cos love is blind?

Oh, don't be cliche! Love is not blind

But is not all desire blind?

I have a want because there is a need

I have a need because there is a desire

And there is a desire because...

So it is not love

Just as a flame burns doesn't mean there's

a love for light

Just as there is hunger, not all food can 

make it right

So what is it with me and Angie

This lingering, festering affection

We could have been one, but we are not

We could have stepped out but I dared not

Not because I did not like her

Not because I did not love her
Sweet laughter,

Kind smile,
Soulful eyes,
and cute voice that was like a song in my ear

But I was mistaken

that there was still something between me and Dee

It had grown from a desire, a need, a want.

But the want was waning, the need was dying
And the desire gone.

Still you try not to give up
For love's path is not always easy.

But there's Angie
So natural, so comfortable
If only we had met sooner.

But without Dee, there wouldn't have been
an Angie, for they were mates from a distant land.

And so, what am I to do?
Leave one for the other?

My righteous self was disapproving
"T'is not right..."

And so that fateful day when Angie asked
"Be with me?"
When she actually said:
"How are you and Dee?"

I said ok when I should have said
"I rather be with you."

I could tell she was crestfallen, her shoulders slumped
And I wished immediately those words taken back

Though what came out of my lips
was despised by the heart
I didn't say more

Oh why oh why didn't I say more!
Oh why???

It's been long since Dee is gone
And so is Angie

All that remains
is but a photo in a red tin box

That on certain days
There is a great need to take it out
For a great want to see
those soulful eyes
that kind smile.
And a great desire to say
"Be with me?"

Sigh. Always there remains a need, a want, a desire

- by TC Lai

Next: We Dance

The Old Lone Tree - Valentine's Day Poem 2

I come home early

and the house is empty

I put the roses down

and go into the kitchen

No one's there.

I open the fridge and lunch greets me

with a note:

"Your favourite :-)"

I smile

It's not the first one she has given me.

I pocket the note and tuck in

I don't finish the meal for the quiet is unusual

Where is she?

I peer into the garden and see the flowers

tendered to by her loving hands

I stroke the curtains by the window

picked by her good taste

I then see the kitchen that has served

a lifetime of nourishment.

The dent in her chopping board 

the bald patch of her wok

the laundry dried and collected in a pile.

They smell of her favourite Lavender

It's all the cologne I've ever needed.

Outside the air is still

Evening has come and all is quiet

Even the crickets don't speak

What is going on?

I sit and wait. But no one comes

Soon night falls and our kitchen light

is the only yellow in the night.

I sit like that for what seem like an age

as the weather outside changes from 

Spring to Summer to Autumn to Winter

I see things grow, flower and then die

I see myself young again, laughing, partying

graduating, getting my first job, earning my first million. 

I grow fat and then thin then old

I sit alone in an expensive car parked by a big house

I have all the things I dream about

But just as I am old and dry

I feel hollow inside

So, this is how an old lone tree feels

Desperately bleached and hard.

A door opens and suddenly the world outside returns

I am back in the kitchen with my dinner.

My love walks in

She is smiling and holding a box

I grab her waist and hold her tight

I nudge my cheek into the softness of her flesh 

It is familiar, her waist, her shape

I hate to let go but I don't want to seem foolish

Is everything all right, she asks

I blink a tear away and smiles

So you found the present, I say

Uh huh, she winks as she says this

You know I hate expensive presents

I know, I reply, sheepish.

She unwraps the box and I fish the smiley from my pocket

I drop it in with the rest

She looks in and a thousand smileys beam back at her

Oh, you've kept them, she says, tears welling in her eyes

We hug and then kiss

Words unnecessary

The world outside grows quiet again 

and dim

For there is now only the two of us
As I taste her softness and she mine
I know I shall never be an old lone tree

- by TC Lai


Next: A Need, A Want, A Desire

All I'll Ever Need - A Valentine's Day Poem

When all is said and done
When the dishes are cleared
I sit with the lights dimmed low
And watch as he reads his papers
and slumps to sleep
No Valentine's rose necessary
No gift too much
For warmth by the hearth
With the man who's given
a life for my comfort
So I might live
A family, a friend, a passage
And as I sit and he snores
Ever so gently
I remember of days gone by
When my hand was precious to hold
When my cheek was like petal to caress
But now that I am older
And the senses not keen
I still feel the tenderness and sweetness
but in my heart. For though he is short on gifts
and sweetened words, he is sincere
in those three important little words: I Love You
And that, stretched over a lifetime
Is all I'll ever need

- by TC Lai


Next: The Old Lone Tree (A Valentine's Day Poem)

What The Little Sakura Saw

They were going to celebrate my coming into Spring
The pink of my petals, the sweet scent of my being

For centuries, folks have waited with children in tow
A brilliant morning when fields are suddenly aglow

In Sakura pink that's so gentle and cheerful
In delicate scents so refreshing and wistful

I ready myself for the show's preamble
When the earth suddenly starts to rumble

My parent tree moves in her rooted spot
Around her things starts to slip...soil, rocks

I steal a peek from my cocooned bud
Only to see houses crumble, bridges fall abut

People stumble, tumble out into the streets
Even as the earth heaves, gnarling roads into a twist

A crash here, a loud bang there
Not a scream, as people slowly become aware

Strange, they don't seem very surprised
Or perhaps it is a scene often reprised?

To me, the trembling is very fearsome
Will my mama tree remain standing, wholesome?

Suddenly, my brother-leaves stop shaking
Everything is still... Is something awaking?

In the quiet air I sense danger
Something is looming fierce and in anger!

Look out! The sea is rising!
It is black, it is unusually menacing!

Run! Oh please run away quickly!
Grab the young, grab the elderly!

Head for higher ground!
Or into tall buildings that's strong and sound

But no one hears me, loud as I am in my head
I panic, heart wrenching with impending dread

The waves they come, pounding everything in its path
They float cars, bring in hapless watercraft

The once idyllic village of homes, farms and gardens
Has become a swirl of debris, of mud splinter flotsam

Am I dreaming? Am I asleep?
Is this the image I will forever keep?

It is supposed to be gay, magical
A Hanami-themed celebration, spectacle

A Sakura spring to remember forever!
Like the rising of the sun, every night thereafter!

Of that I've been told: "My son..."
And often I'm then sold: "Yes, son..."

Not this! Not this kind of deceiving
I close an eye, the other eye disbelieving

Oh, so much has been torn, lost
So much now lay broken, tossed

Oh, where are the people to sing
The praises of my pretty pinkish being?

Or will they marvel instead
At my less than perfect head

That that strange radioactive cloud
Will eventually over time wrought

Air that can change skin
A body needing an iodide rinse

I retreat into my bud a little afraid
Will it protect my tear-laden head?

My brother-leaves in sympathy droop
In unison, they me try to soothe

"The seasons will come, the seasons will go.
Sorrow will not last as long as we have each other to hold."

I fall asleep and begin to dream
Perchance next spring will all be redeemed?

- by TC Lai

Note: This poem was first written on the 29th of March 2011, some two and a half weeks after the Great Japan North-east Disaster. May all who perish rest in peace. May those who survive feel not alone and rise from their needs!

Next: All I'll Ever Need (A Valentine's Day Poem)