What The @#$%& Snake!

The Year of the Snake
Has not been kind to me
That's how it is
Born in the Year of the Water Bunny

I traveled to Brazil
On a 32-hr flight
Got there quite sick
Looking such a terrible sight

I was pale and weak
And fever high
There was pain in my ankle
Numbness in my thigh

An eye was red
And mighty swollen too
Had to see the company doc
For hours he "siamed" me too

Oh what malaise
Made my luck go rogue
Is it the Year of the Snake
That I am "sway", so terok?

I tell myself 'You must visit
Temple upon your return
Pray, pray for luck
Burn some joss sticks in the urn!'

I then climb the stairs
And somehow stumble and fall
Bruised the back of my knee
Here, there and then some more

"Sway ah! Sway ah!"
Is all I can say
Will someone please
Make it all go away!

I then fall asleep
And wake with a ear swollen
Did a goblin come
And love-bite me such I not awaken?

What crafty beast is this
That disturbs me in such wilful ways?
I've come to Brazil to work
Not suffer like some Samsui mah-cheh!

Well, everything seems okay
And calmer now
Still I keep an eye open
For a disaster lurking somehow

If I let my guard down
For just a sec
I might just end up
Once more a total wreck

Thankfully there is a friend
To share this with
I just hope the Year of the Snake
Hasn't reached out and sent him a hiss!

Surely the heavens know by now
All that I have gone through
By and by, here and now
A little black, a lot more blue

Time for the Snake
To beat a hasty retreat
Else this fed-up Bunny
Will turn fearsome and rabid

I'll get real mad
And blow a lot of steam
Bite the snake and
And make it scream

I'll chop it up
And drink its blood
To make myself strong
To satisfy my lust

There is so much
A lass can only take
In such a faraway place
With so much that's at stake

Striking workers and
Lousy candidates
Ooh, should I come back
Again another day instead?

No more, my head warns
A bit more, my heart says
There's the beach and sunset
And a hammock that sways

Ooh, I will surely
And truly miss all that
As well as a sun tan
And a good bikini wax

Shh, not everything of me
Shall be known
Let's keep somethings
Secret, my aura unblown

After all, I am still
A sweet twenty-something
To a guy whose eyes
Are stuck with hearts or something

Eyes that saw blue when
In fact it was chiffon lilac-pink
At least he got the dress right
The shoes size and what else, me thinks

He's a funny chap
Makes me laugh when I'm a little sad
It's nice when miles away
To have someone get on daily chat

I shall have to treat him
When I return months later
To a bowl of vinegar and trotters
A new mother's meal and supper

He's weird in that way
I'm weird in my way
So we'll have to see
How weird Brazil gets all the way!

- by TC Lai