(Onions last for eight months when placed in a panty hose?)
Panty hoses are plenty useful
Girls roll them down to catch a man
Guys would put them on their heads
And roll them down to rob a bank
Others might be more conservative
Stretching over a cup to strain tea
Or bag a few mothballs in the cupboard
To keep away the creepy crawlies
My neighbour he uses one
On the backrack of his bike
To tie things down to prevent
Them from falling out of sight
Kidnappers buy them in the dozens
When they are on a crime spree
Coz panty hoses make excellent knots
And also helps to hide their identities
Secretaries use them after hours
To tie their bosses down
To make a point about sexual harassament
Or to encourage another bonu$ round
My own uncle he uses one
In the bathroom like a circus fool
"A panty hose swings-dry veggies
Better than any Tupperware spinner tool!"
My kopitiam aunty uses them
To bag coins from her till
"Heheh, I used to use plastic bags
But these won't punchek and spill!"
Navy frogmen are not immune
But they like theirs black
Coz in their undercover operations
They can twist-pack-sling things onto their backs!
You can put one over a vacuum hose
To stop sucking up little things
Or one over a potato
To grow those chia-head novel beings
Oh panty hose, oh panty hose
What more use can you offer?
You are like that laser gun invention
Offering up solutions one after another
It's even said a panty hose
Can keep things young and fresh
Onions kept in a bead-like hold
Can last eight months, still at their best
So what if I hose myself
From head to foot
Would I live eight times longer
Older than a ginseng root?
My my, this is worth a gamble
The way I eat and drink
In 400 years time I'll still be
Baby cherubic and looking pink!
- by TC Lai
No comments:
Post a Comment