I've Seen A Death

I walk up from the sea in clothes of weeds

A man sits by a rock

"And what wakes you," he asks

"And what idle thoughts bring you here," I reply

We look at each other for a while

Thinking familiar yet unknown thoughts

We pistol finger each other as if to say, "Touche."

He continues to smoke a cigar

And I continue to walk up the beach

An imprint. An imprint in the sand

A shadow that's not born of a shifting sun

Had I lain there for so long?

A woman comes and places a flower by it

She is in tears and full of kindness

"Someday," she says, "I will also be a shadow that's dead to time."

I scoop up a handful of sand and drop it on the figure

Where the mouth should be

The sand falls but never builds

Where does it go?

There is depth in darkness and I have just seen it

It should be strange but I am not surprised

The lady does not move nor seems to be affected

I am after all just a mess of weeds on the beach

How tall am I? I wonder

Why, just a moment ago....

I peek through the weeds and see shuttered light

The lady is also looming tall

Did I just shrink?

Water now washes over me and air bubbles away from my mouth

Then my lungs and other orifices

I struggle but entangle myself even more

And then I float and is washed ashore

The shadow that was there is a shadow no more

- by TC Lai

Trapped

I stand under a tree and a branch cracks my head.

I go to the hospital but catch something else.

I was healthy but now am very sick.

I lay in bed as my life ebbs away.

A priest comes to bless my soul.

I say, "Father, no need. There isn't a god in the world that can save me."

"But son," the priest says, "It's never too late."

The priest man, he doesn't under this sick man.

"It is not salvation I want," I whisper.

"It's simply the medicine that I need."

The priest he hears but still prays.

The nurses stand by just in case.

A girlfriend stands and watches.

"Wait," I say to her. "Aren't you dead?"

A nurse turns to stare but her look is blank.

My girlfriend speaks and her voice is missed.

"It's not your time yet. All will be well."

She turns and walks away.

A bright light and all is normal again.

My heart is weak and stops.

A nearby machine wakes and screams.

An alarm has gone off.

The nurses rush over; the doctors rush over.

They pump me with syringes, fire me with shocks.

I see all this but is not afraid. Not when one is floating and detached.

But soon I am sucked back in.

I choke and wake and grip my bed.

So, that's what it is like to die, even for a few seconds.

Slowly the pain ebbs; slowly the days pass.

I get better and leaves the hospital.

I stand under a tree and an egg drops.

The egg cracks and a life ebbs....even before it has begun.

But I am alive and yet a life I have not.

When, I ask, are you going to start?

I walk away from the tree and a car cracks my leg.

I go to the hospital.....

- by TC Lai

Bread

What is it about fresh bread, baked
that is so invigorating

That will move even a dying man's head.

To bear it up for a last sniff of life
A life once lived, a life again relived

But for a fleeting moment.

Bread, the bearer of smiles
To the living, to the about-dying

Always fresh, always the best.

Ah, bread my mom used to bake
Bread my neighbour used to sell

Bread I used to share, fight over

Bread I had used as communion
during a wedding ceremony

So long ago. A love so fresh

A bread of happy times
A bread of hungry times

A bread of innocent times

Bread. Break. Broken.
A dying man drops his head

A pain is gone, a smile remains

- by TC Lai

Something in Nothing

Can nothing be made of something?
It's kind of fun to wonder about that

That space itself is a construct

Hard to picture, isn't it?
But air itself was once hard to comprehend

Then vacuum

But vacuum is just space devoid of air
Like highways devoid of cars

So what holds vacuum up?

We can all find space
In the infinitely big to the infinitely small

Can space be so small as to not exist?

Even in a black hole
Where matter is supposedly dense

Very, very dense

Yet even in a crowded train
There are pockets of space

We are not uniform

Is what makes space out there uniform?
Are the particles out there dancing different?

That somehow they are space and yet not space?

Like when blood flows through water
Is it more conscious of its stream?

Or that its movement define water

The nucleus makes the atom
The quarks make the nucleus

Yet, charm and strange particles make the quark

Who makes these still?
Or anything with mass

For what is an object without mass?

A soul? A soul that runs the machine
That machine which is us

The sum of all parts

Really, everything has to move
If not, standstill is the death of us

So everything that moves is life

How a knitting needle has to move
To make a fabric we can feel, see

When it stops, creation is halted

We know everything is a probablity
Where the electron might be

It blinkers on when we see, off when we don't

So how will space collapse?
When gravity is weak or strong?

'Strong' it is by intuition

But what if weak is the answer
When pockets are torn in the fabric of space

What some call 'dark matter'

Is that why they exist?
In the absence of gravity?

For it is in the dark, that space matters not

We stand alone, all by ourselves
We see not how far the distance

For only in distance, we find space

And in space, we find ourselves
A reason to be, a reason to exist

And that is something in nothing

- by TC Lai

All for a Child

Men have done it

Leave the wife and kid

At times kids

A man must make his way

They say

That's a man's lot

But would you, could you

When Dad has never been around

To show you the world?

Would you let a child grow

Alone with wind and rain?

To always wonder the reason why?

It's painful when there's no love

Much worse when there's no conversation

It's all about food, housework and laundry

How can a man survive on such trivial?

How can a man prosper on such menial

Thoughts, actions and pretentions?

A man will die I tell you

Lest he will himself

To exist for that one child

A life he has led

A certain life he must now live

But not for himself but an offspring

An offspring that's fortunately

Sweet, good-natured and forgiving

A child of his childhood

But yet a child with blindspots

Her blindspots

A love of books yet not

But a daddy she did snag

A child she did get

Out of lies, reticence and selfishness

But now he knows better

A chance will come

When father and daughter

Will leave for lands afar

No longer having to bear with

Ignorance, stupidy and selfishness

Some women are a pain in the ass

And not worth marrying

Women who have not earned the right

Women who have not captured the heart

Nor intellectual curiosity

But loins one long night ago

For that, any man will leave

To  some place afar

To start anew, to breathe anew

To find himself once more

- by TC Lai

Pledges for Singaporeans

‎‎1. Singapore Pledge for Foodies 2012
2. Singapore Pledge for Civil Servants 2012
3. Singapore Pledge for Govt Scholars 2012
‎4. Singapore Pledge for Sports Fans 2012
5. ‎Singapore Pledge for Govt Ministers 2012
6. Singapore Pledge for the Social Gambler 2012
7. Singapore Pledge for the Child-less 2012 
8. Singapore Pledge for School Children 2012
9. Singapore Pledge for Taxi Drivers 2012
10. Singapore Pledge for Maid Employers 2012
11. Singapore Pledge for Sg Sports Council 2012
12. Singapore Pledge for MOM 2012

1) Singapore Pledge for Foodies 2012

We the citizens of Singapore (burp!)
Pledge ourselves as one always-hungry people
Regardless of got hum/no hum; got chilli/no chilli
To order up a delicious storm
Based on what the old hawker uncle/aunty can dish up
So as to achieve lau nuah happiness, tummy-rubbing satisfaction, and
High BMI-index for our nation. (burp!)

2) Singapore Pledge for Civil Servants 2012 

We the civil servants of Singapore
Pledge ourselves as one well-behaved people
Regardless if the girl was young or 18
Slim, got big boobs or not
Based on shape, size or lies
So as not to be conned into thinking
it's congress for the nation

3) Singapore Pledge for Govt Scholars 2012

We the scholars of Singapore
Pledge ourselves as one anti-lewd lot
To stop touching or groping
kids of various age and nudity
Based on need to satisfy
Some paedophilic urge or fantasy
that again embarrass the nation

‎4) Singapore Pledge for Sports Fans 2012

We the sports fans of Singapore
Pledge ourselves as one united people
Regardless of EPL club or telecom operator
To not continue be held ransom to ridiculous rates
Based on forever expanding TV rights monies
So as to enjoy a simple football match without
Starving half the people of the nation

5) ‎Singapore Pledge for Govt Ministers 2012

We the ministers of Singapore
Pledge not to throw foreign talent in yr face
Regardless of GDP growth, quarterly earnings or our bonus
To build a more inclusive society
Based on the over-40s, over-50s, and over-60s
So as to overcome myopia, disdain, distrust and
ignorance of the non-elites in our nation

6) Singapore Pledge for the Social Gambler 2012

We the social gamblers of Singapore
Pledge to continue our support for Singapore Pools
Regardless of fixed income, food-price rise or inflation 
To continue to play 4-D, Toto or visit the casino
Based on feeling, accident car plate numbers
So as not to deny the Community Chest charities
the monies and their duty to our nation

7) Singapore Pledge for the Child-less 2012 

We the child-less of Singapore
Pledge to pull down our pants a little more
Regardless of project deadlines or aged in the room
To build up lust and sordid passion
Based on mutual stimulation
So as to achieve titillation, orgasm and
more babies for our nation

8) Singapore Pledge for School Children 2012

We the school children of Singapore
Pledge ourselves a tuition-free existence
Regardless of grades, kiasu parents or other kaypohs
To build a stress-free, memorable childhood
Based on marbles, spider-catching and kite-flying
So as to achieve a less exam-smart mindset and
a better street-smart mentality for our nation

9) Singapore Pledge for Taxi Drivers 2012

We the taxi-drivers of Singapore
Pledge ourselves as one less confusing lot
Regardless of peak hours, ERP, public holidays
To charge just one freaking fare
Based on destination, not surcharge bingeing
So as to achieve a pleasant, math-less and
cuss-less ride for all in the nation

10) Singapore Pledge for Maid Employers 2012 

We the maid employers of Singapore
Pledge to treat them as we would our daughters
Regardless of laziness, cluelessness and personal hygiene
To not make them clean windows, climb high places
Based on some anal need for clean windows
So people will not think us heartless, cruel and  
basically kiasi of a nation

11) Singapore Pledge for Sg Sports Council

We the lau-jiao of the SSC
Pledge ourselves to not use any more FTs
Regardless if our kids are getting fat, out-of-shape and iPad-totting
To build a sporting nation of incomparable records
Based on hot-dog eating, fishball swallowing and mass displays
So as to achieve pride as citizens, born and bred and
raised on recycled toilet waters of the nation

12) Singapore Pledge for MOM 2012

We the people at MOM Singapore
Pledge ourselves to celebrate our moms
Regardless of grad, A-level or O
To build a more mamographic society
Based on Manpower AND Womanpower
So as to achieve equality, parity and
sorority for our sistas across the nation

- by TC Lai

Next Time (or Trying The Manual on Romantic Love)

1. Line Up Chocolates to the Belly Button
Which direction, I had to ask
How kinky do you want to be?
So I tried it on myself
I bent, they all fell down
I had to eat them off the floor

Next time: Lick the chocolates first

2. Nibble on Ear
Animal, Vegetable or Opposite Sex? I had to ask
The cat scratched my face
The corn had to be cooked
The gal gave me a slap when I drew blood

Next time: Try on stewed pig's ears first

3. Pen a Poem
I love your eyes
They are as big as your knockers
I love your nose
They flare up like carburettors

I love....
She crumpled the card and threw it in my face

Next time: Compliment her ass ('As big as a car wash?')

4. Buy Her Flowers
She said she loved white
So I bought her white chrysanthemums.
Go and die, she said.

Give me a chance, I said
Buy me something orange.
So I bought her Day Lillies
They killed her cat.

Next time: Buy her plastic flowers

5. Cook Something for Her
Cooked her wagyu steak
She said she was vegetarian
Made her ice cream
She was lacktose intolerant
Baked her a cake
She said she rather have salad
Made her salad
She said she wanted rojak, not Caesar's

Next time: Get her a Kopitiam voucher

6. Walk Along The Beach
They say to find a moonlit night
When the stars are out
And the waters sparkly
And the sand smooth
First, she stepped into a pothole
And sprained her ankle
When she fell she gashed herself on beer bottle glass
Lying there she got swarmed by sand flies

Next time: Try the pool

7. Read in front of a Fire
It was cozy, the fire was kindling
Throwing gentle highlights onto her cheekbones
Also cinders into her hair
It burst into a ball of flame
And sent her running, into the snow
She fell head-first into the flaky ice
Like an ostrich in the sand
I ran after her but slipped and
Buried my face into her derriere
And found hair - not singed

Next time: Skip fatt-choy during CNY

8. Dedicate a Song on the Radio
I picked the station
Selected the song
And decided on the time
I even prepared the dedication note
Everything was perfect until
The radio DJ said her name wrong

Next time: Send her an sms and an iTune

9. Buy Her a Dress
Bought her a dress
She said it was a size too small
Am I saying she's fat?
Bought her another dress
She said it was a size too big
Was it meant for another girl? she said
Bought her yet another dress
She said it was the wrong color
Bought her a scarf
She said it made her look old
Bought her a cheong sam
She said I mock her
Bought her a sarong
She said I implied she was a slut
Bought her cloth
She said I was not sincere

Next time: Bring her to H&M and just pay

10. Go to a Movie
Bought the tickets
For plush seats
Bought the gourmet popcorn Garrets
And champagne wine
The lights dim
A man named Joker came in
Threw smoke and opened fire
She screamed, I screamed
She looked a mess, I looked a mess
She's not speaking to me ever again

Next time: Rent a dog and DVD

- by TC Lai