The Late Goodbite

(A parody song of The Last Goodbye by Billy Boyd. Enjoy! (Note: There's a bit of Singlish!)

I saw a pie fall from the sky
A saucy meatball rolling by
As my tummy grumble a missed-out dinner
I go crazy in my mind's eye

Night is now falling
Must it end this way
The tummy is fiercely calling
Maybe I drink tauhuay
At Redhill or Clementi
To hawker stalls that never close
By big smelly lonkangs that run down to the sea
Under tents at East Coast beach
In jungles and NS morn
I turn, bohbian, to instant noodles at home

But, oh wait, what's left in my fridge
I cannot tell
Shud have thrown away
They're still in my tray
You dare to eat, really meh?

Many FCs I have been
Many roaches I have seen
But I don't regret
No complain no free get
All the hawkers now scared of me

Night is now falling
Must it end this way
The tummy is fiercely calling
Must I drink tauhuay
At Changi Rd or Holland V
To kopitiams that never close
By big lonkangs that run down to the sea
Of these hawkers I was told
Never mind ratings you have to go
To eat like siao before heading home

And, oh, where the calories hide in me
I sure can tell
If not the chin, then the waist
But now comes the day
To diet like siao!

Eat first lah, then diet diet like siao!

Link to the original The Last Goodbye (that The Hobbit movie end-song)

The Sound of Music Songs

These songs were written on a whim from some SBM FB posting request. The titles were actually made up in jest but since they was requested as songs, I wrote them out just for fun (thanks, Lay Lian). Hope it resonates, and have fun singing along. ;-)

Eatchapchye

(Sung to Edelweiss)

Eatchapchye, Eatchapchye
Every lunchtime you''ll see me
Sweet and sour, heavy or light
Just one dish won't fill me
Kung pow chicken, you are nice to know
Nice to know forever
Eatchapchye, Eatchapchye
Stay good-and-cheap forever!

Eatchapchye, Eatchapchye
Many dishes to choose from
Steamed or fried, stewed or diced
Stacked so nicely with white rice
Tapow or eat there, whatever the choice
Don't forget the chilli
Eatchapchye, Eatchapchye
Save money to marry!

- by TC Lai *Chap chye is mixed rice, or "geng jai fun" - economic rice - in Cantonese, a popular kind of food stall in food centers or kopitiams in Singapore where many dishes are cooked up for selection, often eaten with white or brown. Cost? Between $2 - $3. Some serve up plain white porridge as well. The vegetarian stalls would also have fried beehoon as an option.


So Long, Kway Teow
(Sung to So Long, Farewell)

There's a sad sort of clanging from the wok in the stall
And the plates from the kitchen too
And there at the tables is a sad customer
That's getting up to say, "Mai retire, eh sai bo, eh sai bo?"
Fed-up Ah Pek he tells us but firmly he's decided so
To say goodbye to you

So long, farewell, I won't fry your stupid kway teow
I love to go and sit down for awhile
So long, farewell, you and your phototaking
Shoo shoo, siam siam, mai come and charp me
I'm glad to go, find a retirement home to die
I'm stiff, I cough, I always have to pee
My son, he say he doesn't want to take over

So long, farewell, I won't fry your stupid kway teow
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
GOODBYE!

- by TC Lai *some words are in the Hokkien dialect. Kway teow is thick/flat, white vermicelli noodles.

Go-Reng-Mi
(Sung to the tune of Do Re Mi)

Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start
What you need is Indo-mie
What you get is go-reng-mi
Go-reng-mi, go-reng-mi
The first three things just happen to be
Indo-mie, sauce chilli
Cook for three minutes till ready!
Let's see if I can make it easier

Zhou, is rice, a very wet rice
Muay, is you crying into zhou 
Mee, is tame unless with gems
Far, is a stall you never tried
So, is pastry with charsiew
La, is spicy till can cry
Teh, a drink with prata bread
That will bring us back to... 

Dough, is bread, to make your own
Deh, you eat you never pay
Mee, again, you'll put on weight
Fart, is you not giving me face
Sow, is trotter in vinegar
La, is lala that you joot
Teh, a drink you must tarik
That will bring us back to dough! (Dough, dough, dough...)


Dough leave me fart so loud till dog smell me, so don't!  

- TC Lai *Note: Zhou is porridge, muay is plain watery porridge

A Fave Wanton Mee

(Sung to Bee Gees' First of May)

When I was young the wanton mee was fine
We used to eat while mommy/daddy pay;
Now we are tall and go to another stall 
The wanton mee seller he passed away

And so for a while, we ate noodle instant-style
Our memory like our taste faded away
Of that olden style we could not fathom how
Until someone recooked  from yesterday

So I am glad and neighbours are not sad
That the wanton mee is not that bad
And I recall the day I wasn't tall
When the wanton mee was perfect, see

So don't be sore the charsiew look a bore
The taste is fine and the soup's divine
The price is right won't give you a fright
And you won't choke as the wanton is quite shiok

When I was young the wanton mee was fine
Do do do do do do do do do.....

A Child Was Told

Share a happy tear and make a wish, a child was told
Because this flower rarely opens

It chanced upon your being here
And sought to show you its fleeting beauty

So bless with it your soul, my dear dear child
That you and it may be in space-time entwined

That when the flower does indeed perish shortly
Your soul its beauty be thus be made divine

And reborn a part of you once more will be, the child was told
In another place in another time

When again someone smiles upon the same flower so
Your karma will be enriched a thousand times

The End - by TC Lai

Peas in a Pod

Peas in a pod, peas in a pod

We are both peas in a pod

Married too long

Singing the same same song

We are both peas in a pod

Folks say we look alike

Walking the same same stride

We are both peas in a pod

Hope to live, hope to die

Embracing in same same desire

We are both peas in a pod

Love Me Blender

Love me blender
Love me treats
Like that ripe mango
You have made my life complete
With all things phyto

Love me blender
Love me juice
All my dreams fulfilled
For that extra kick or two
I will add a dill

Love me blender
Love its song
That sings to my heart
For PULSE or BLEND or SMOOTHIE
It is quite the art

Love me blender
Love its truth
Fruits are Nature's gift
Just like Darwin he observed
Evolution's neat! 

Love me blender
Love it near
I will not lend out
Can't chance it getting spoilt
I will then freak out

Love me blender
Love its spout
Pouring out good stuff
I hope it will last the years
I haven't juiced enough!

Durian Party Girls

I once met a girl named Ang Hae
Her face was always red and angry
And then there was Ho Lor
She was pretty but rather 'chor lor'

Along then came Cheh Phoay Kia
She macham sam seng kia
Her real name was Chow Ah Lian
But we  all called her Chow Lew Lian

I spent a week with lovely Gan Ja mei
Can't really remember what we did
We just smoked and ate durians
And played siao Jenga with the botak seeds

But guess who would walk in on us?
A girl known as Chup Yit Lao
She's skinny like two bamboo poles
Cause she's having ganja and nothing else

And who can forget Ka Pi Li
She was rather well endowed
But one side big and one side small
Pai kuah like ION Orchard Mall!

Her sister Xiao Hung was much better
Not too big and not too small
Sometimes cannot be too greedy lah
Mouth not big why ask for more???

D2 was a girl we met at disco night
Shakes her head like on Ecstasy
Also makes that "deetoo deetoo" sound
Wah lau eh, like that sibeh scary!

Ms D24 no need say one
Was a girl who blocked our view
Serving beer when we watched football
No Messi, only got mountain view!

Each drinking night we'd meet Ang Bak Kia
Who, I think, never sleeps
Walks around with her eyes red red
I think she should star in The Walking Dead!

My fave companion is Kan Bao Hung
But she can seldom sit beside me
You see, she's a hot hostess at KTV
All the lao uncle chope, I sibeh envy

So I settle for Ms Cheh Phoay 15
Ms Kan's young pretty sibling
She's rather green and inexperienced
But she worships me as her 'tuition' king

:-)

===
Glossary: (Mostly Hokkien)
- Ang Hae: red prawn
- chor lor: not graceful
- Cheh Phoay Kia: green skin kid
- macham (Malay): behaving like
- sam seng kia: gangster kid
- lew Lian: durian
- Chup Yit Lao: eleven storeys  - ganja: Heroin (drug)
- pai kuah: ugly (lit: don't look nice)
- Ang Bak Kia: red flesh kid (durian); also 'red eye kid'
- Kan Bao Hung (Cantonese): sure kenna booked
- lao: old
- sibeh: very 
- chope: to book before
- Cheh Phoay 15: Green skin No. 15 (as in KTV Girl No.15)

Working in Singlish can really mess up the grammar! ;-)