Of Leeks, Geeks, and Plumbers

There was a geek who loved leeks
And went to inquire some
A man sent him to the market
And said, "Geek, you be discreet
"Or leeks you will get none!"

Now it is CNY
And everybody knows
A leek here a leek there
And soon the price of leeks blows!

The geek was glad for he so loved leek
And to the market he went
When the man he sought
Was surrounded by cabbages of sorts
He asked, "Er, I'm here for the leaks?"

The man, he looked an Assange
Hair flopping to one side
"You want leeks or leaks
You better be sure
For there is no return
When a goverment is out to censure!"

"I've been stuck in that embassy
For God knows how long
Started talking to typewriters
Like that Castaway 'Volleyball' Tom"

"So my advice is to forget leaks
And take instead this pomelo
It will ward off all evil
That can turn you into a much hated fellow"

"Hiaz, I wished my guys hadn't leaked
But instead made a big deal with leeks
At least we could still sit around
Play online games like a bunch of geeks

Just then a plumber passed by
"Hey, I hear there are leaks.
Can you point me the way?
A leak to mend is all I seek!"

Assange Man was livid, he was red
And off he stomped to his hideaway nest
"What's his problem?" the plumber asked
Isn't he the master of leaks, the best?"

The geek he picked up some leek
And shook his head quite sadly
"Yes, he's that geek with the leak
But now he's forgotten rather badly"

"Here you go, Plumber Man
Take some leek and head on home
Forget you've seen Assange Man
His leaks, geeks and hacking tome"

"Hang the leeks up the eaves
And say a silent prayer
Count long your blessings 
That you are a plumber and not that fella!"


- by TC Lai, 16 Feb 2015

Got this for my mom to cook and hang. Auspicious for CNY. wink emoticon Apparently 蒜苗/大蒜 is like 算, which is "count" in Chinese. Count wealth in the new year. wink emoticon Some call this Chinese leeks.

Bag with amalgamated word of 招财进宝 (Hailing Wealth, Enter Treasures) 

Pomelo are displayed during CNY and Mid-Autumn Festival. They 1) Ward off evil (yau); bathe with pomelo leaves infused water to cleanse oneself.2) Pomelo round, as a symbol of reunion 3) Shaped like a women's derriere, so symbol of fertility (many children).