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Tuesday 12 February 2013

Oh Why


Do you love me? I ask
You dare not answer

Do you love me? I ask again
You look away as if in pain

DO YOU LOVE ME! I then demand
My voice level but with edge

Do you love me?! I repeat
Again wondering if at all

Do you love me? I then plead
Hoping against hope

Do you NOT love me? I sob
Filling myself with self-pity

You do love me, right? I say
Wondering if there was something wrong with me

You did love me, right? I ask
Wondering if there was love at all

You know I love you, right? I say
Trying to rescue a lost cause

We can start again, I suggest
Realising how desperate that sounds

So this is it, I say
As I prepare for the worst

So this is it, I say
As you squirm in your seat

So this is it, I say
As you try to avoid my eyes

Is this it?
Is this it?
Is this it?
I ask
But an answer I don't really want

I'm sorry, is what you say
I'm sorry, is all you say
I'm sorry, is that all?

You walk away
No, you scoot away
No, you run away

Why is it with guys
They can't tell you how they feel?
Or is it with us girls
Who simply cannot let go?

Why did it happen today? I ask
When it is a time for lovers to celebrate

Why did it happen today? I ask
When a single rose could mean so much

Why did it happen today? I ask
When I had bought him a $300 tie

Why did it happen today? I ask
When he could have continued to lie

Why did it happen today, I ask
When someone else could have made that lie

Why did it happen today, I ask
Oh why did I let it happen today???

When everything could have been
Oh, so very nice?

Why, oh why, oh why oh, why?!
Had I gotta ask???

- by TC Lai

Sunday 10 February 2013

Trying Not To Love You


I am trying not to love you
But each time I see you
My eyes pick you out
My ears listen for your voice
My throat echoes to your laughter
I want to laugh with you

I am trying not to love you
But each time you pass me by
My nose sniffs the air
My skin tingles
My arm reaches out
I want to hold you

I am trying not to love you
But each time you sit beside
My mind is fired up
My thoughts wander to a story
My dreams put you in a special place
I want to start something with you

I am trying not to love you
But each time it is harder and harder
The way your hair dint the light
The way your lips say the words
The way your eyes corner up a smile
The way you are the way you are

I am trying not to love you
But I wonder if I should
Will my love be strong
Will my love last
Will my love blossom you
The way the Sun and Earth nourish someone

I am trying not to love you
But you are not helping at all
You share with me your worries
You say hi when a longways away
You oftentimes touch my arm
The way lovelies sometimes behave

I am trying not to love you
But I wonder if I should put up a fight
When I see you with him
When I see you light up brighter
When I see you do that girly thing
The way I know your heart is pulling away

I am trying not to love you
But my heart tells me where you should be
In this little heart-shaped box I've built
In this little heart-shaped room I've padded
In this little heart-shaped castle I've moated
The way a love had once wandered into

I am trying not to love you
But you are making it very hard

- by TC Lai

Wednesday 6 February 2013

Hotel 88


I knew this girl from not long ago
We made love like there's no tomorrow

On a park bench, in a car seat
Even on grass like crazy dogs in heat

Then a police car came along
Shining lights, claiming wrongs

Our naked butts their beam did find
Oh no oh no, not this time!

Off we rolled into bushes near
Another couple scared, in similar fear

Run! Someone said in clear panic
We can't be caught, not like this!

I pulled my pants up in a hurry
Catching the zipper on my curly-furry

Ouch ouch ouch! was all I could say
Hopping hurt in a one-legged display

My girl she tried my shirt to tuck
Wondering if she had run out of luck

No worries dear, that piece is still quite good
No worries dear, it is still as stiff as wood

The men in blue were still advancing
Doing their duty or simply voyeurising?

So off we ran from bush to tree
The other couple hobbling not quite so ably

The man tore his pants and fell over
The girl lost her skirt and crouched over

The police came and stood over them
Tsk tsk tsk, said those from Uncle Sam

My girl and I had managed to run
Far and away from those men with guns

Not that they would use them anyways
On us, such public-nuisance-folks-on-display

Ha! I know it is somewhat wrong
To be making love amidst a grass-lain throng

Quiet though the park may be
With others quite intentioned the same as we

Still when the passion strikes
And the girl insisting tonite's the nite!

What can a poor boy do?
But play his part of male derring-do!

In any case the run was fresh
Got my lingam quite refreshed

The girl was bothered and naughty still
Won't take no and won't sit still

She pulled me away from bench and grass
Took me to a place of repute and class

A place where Geylang folks ate till quite late
Where stood a fiendish, pinkish Hotel 88

Oh my, what a crazy thought
To make love in this infamous resort!

In the night when all was done
And sleeping soundly like two dead drunks

The police came and knocked on doors
Checking ICs and questioning more

Some shone their torches on our sleepy faces
As we covered ourselves and shameful places

Sigh, we thought we had outrun them
What, only to bump into them again?

Out of my post-coital foggy haze
I could hear them "tsk-tsk" tsking away

The both of us did no wrong
Perhaps laying up in the wrong lorong

And so when the police did finally leave
Me and the girl was rather relieved

For she's not a girl and I not a guy
Just two creatures from some sci-fi

Yup, outer space we did come
To fornicate like two pally chums

Isn't it wonderful what the Earthlings do
On a bench, in a car or even loo

Much we learn and much we bring back
To our race of strange humpbacks

For we never quite mastered coitus
All we do is smell each other's anuses

And get turned off because of our diet
Farting badly to really irritate

So before we dropped off like flies
We'd send folks to Earth to realise

The art of making rabid love
Anywhere, everywhere, low and above

And now we know the ins and hows
Be not bothered but just kow-tow

Forget the smells and place
Just Do It, our saving grace

That now we may repopulate
Imitating Earth, building more Hotel 88s

Tuesday 5 February 2013

A Song To Sing


(For all the women who want to "wiggle their bottom and break into song". Thanks, Nancy.)

What is it about a song that makes me so
I grab a mike and I suddenly become J Lo

The conservative in me takes early flight
I wiggle my bottom and shriek with delight

My companions are suddenly made aware
Ooh! How come she's never been there?

A life of servitude cleaning up a home
A life of commitment to a man who roamed

On the fringes of fury and madness
"Oh, don't blame me! I am like that!"

How to love a man who says such things
How to love a man who won't change things

So into this box goes all my frustrations
So into this box lives all my expectations

In this box, a rather large K-box
I find my friends, my fellow vocal box

That gives me voice to my other self
That gives me voice to my loving self

A song I sing I sing for me
A song I sing for the children of three

That they may grow to see the light
Of a loving gentleman's great delight

Of seeing his wife blossom in unfettered flight
Even if she is flirting/cajoling for just one night

For when the eyes are there and the love evident
He's the song I sing and the dance I dance

For "Impossible!" only puts up walls
For "Impossible!" only makes life sore

For "Impossible!" kills my voice
Should I settle for that coz I said my vows?

No, I shall not be battered and bullied
Nor my life lived in a narrow alley

Where I can see but liittle light
Where I can see but a dead end in sight

What I want is not "impossible"
What I want is a glimmer of "possible"

So what if I don't sound much like J Lo
At least I'm encouraged to reach keys hi, lo

To be loved for what and who I am
In a K-box, in a song box, in a kinship den

- by TC Lai