Monday, 13 February 2017

I Remember...




I am happy she is found
But finding doesn't mean meeting

I am terrible when profound
Saying things I don't really mean

I am seldom is the clown
Perhaps one day, I'll come around

I am cranky when down
So you better not hang around

I am here but not around
I much prefer to hang about town

I am senior and not sound
That is what they keep telling me

I am not yet in the ground
And still happy she is found

The end. By TC Lai

Pine Ning



I have a love
She is far away

I have a love
She burns yet very near

I have a love
I can't get to

I have a love
I can only warm inside

There is a love
That sits away

There is a love
I imagine every day

There is a love
But what will she say?

There is a love
And will she slip away?

Love is love
No matter where

Love is love
No one can say

Love is love
Coz I deem it so

Love is love
Coz you made me so

The end. - By TC Lai

Sunday, 14 February 2016

Poem For An Old Love


To my darling:

When the love has grown old
And ardent kissing has stopped
What is there left to say?
When misshapened bodies in bed
Make spooning awkward
What is there left to say?
When a touch of the hair
Feels coarse and strange
What is there left to say?
When the starlight in our eyes
Has faded and dimmed
What is there left to say?
There's plenty I want to say
And I will say it with a hug
A hug that's long and silent
A hug that burns with the
warmth of my love unsaid.
For today and perhaps....
Till the next bad fart in bed.
- Much love (and advance apologies accepted!)

- by TC Lai

Monday, 21 December 2015

So This Is Christmas


(sung to the tune of So This Is Christmas)


And a so-so New Year Then when it gets better There's plenty to cheer It's already Christmas What have you done? Set up a half-assed tree With leaves aledy turning brown? Have a happy Christmas Be on your best show When toes are stepped on Rmbr, you've five more to go! A very merry Christmas Western food's a big deal From sweet honey-baked hams To cornish hens and oxtail tail stews Have a happy Christmas There's a new Force in town The war is not over And the old rebel gang is still around! And this is Christmas So drink up and sing Or stay plastered in a corner And snore till New Year rings

- by TC Lai

Monday, 7 December 2015

My Banglatime

Part-time lover? Maids and their Bangla construction worker BFs.
[Sung to the tune of My Valentine, by Martina 'Pinoy' McBride and Jim 'Bangla' Brickman] ;-)

My Banglatiine


If there was no work
Free on rest day
I would want to see you
And if there were chores
Madam want to pay me more
I'd give that up for you

[Chorus:]
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if your shirt still smell of grime
I would hold your hand
Until the end of my Maids Free Time
You're all I need, my love, my Banglatine

All of my dusting life
I have been waiting for
Your calloused hand on my calloused knee
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to enjoy Bangla hospitality

[Chorus:]
I've dreamed of this in my small bedspace before
But in my dreams you're a Bangla hair so blond
I will give you my heart
Until it's back to Madam Time
You're all I need (for now), my love, my Banglatine

[piano solo:]

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if your shirt still smell of grime
I would still hold your hand
Until the end of Maids Free Time
'Cause all I need is you, my Banglatine
Oh oh oh...
You're all I need, my love, my Banglatine

The end. - by TC Lai

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Malaysia Really Boleh-sia


"Malaysia Boleh" means Malaysia can...
Have a premier that walks crooked/slant
Hiding state funds right under our noses
In his own accounts like fed by hoses

How come a prime minister can act like that
He can, becoz we stupid let him wear two hats
As Finance Minister he signs all the cheques
It's like giving a fox, key to the turkey nest

"Suka suka pocket a few millions
What, wife, did you say "billions"?
Oops, I must have heard so very wrongly
For a colored diamond does cost quite aplenty!

"Nebermind nebermind if people ask
We'll just say it's from the land of dust
For what is a billion to those folks
when they have been longtime oil-barrel crooks

"So what if it ends in my bank account
One name is better than two names down
Like this I can spend at will
Keeping people quiet so secrets are not spilled!"

The shenanigans have long been going on
The 1MDB, vote buying, defence funds gone 
But hey, we are the ruling elite 
It is our birth right to make "subjects" bleed

But not so much that they will revolt
In little, little bits so they'll continue to work
In Boleh Land, in Boleh Land
Where promises are porous like shifting sand!

A prime minister stealing funds 
An AG lapdog spreading cow dung
To mask the putrid smell from Putrajaya
Blaming foreigners as avid government topplers

Who are they trying to kid?
Telling fantastical stories to 3-yr-old kids!
Oh yes, they prefer loyalty to smarts
No wonder they are closing ranks like mafia retards

Alright, so they'll keep up with the pretences
Causing you to question your senses 
If I slap you you look the other way
I raise my hand again, YOU better walk away!

This is getting from ridiculous to sublime
A whole nation sanctioning a national crime
Now the doors are opened and thieves let loose
All wanting to be Blameless Najibs and Ninja Jho Lows

For if the beam of the house is not straight
Can you blame the doorway being crooked?
It's a Chinese proverb that says it best
This premier will put upstanding Malays to the test!

The end - by TC Lai, 4 Aug 2015