Trying Not To Love You

I am trying not to love you
But each time I see you
My eyes pick you out
My ears listen for your voice
My throat echoes to your laughter
I want to laugh with you

I am trying not to love you
But each time you pass me by
My nose sniffs the air
My skin tingles
My arm reaches out
I want to hold you

I am trying not to love you
But each time you sit beside
My mind is fired up
My thoughts wander to a story
My dreams put you in a special place
I want to start something with you

I am trying not to love you
But each time it is harder and harder
The way your hair dint the light
The way your lips say the words
The way your eyes corner up a smile
The way you are the way you are

I am trying not to love you
But I wonder if I should
Will my love be strong
Will my love last
Will my love blossom you
The way the Sun and Earth nourish someone

I am trying not to love you
But you are not helping at all
You share with me your worries
You say hi when a longways away
You oftentimes touch my arm
The way lovelies sometimes behave

I am trying not to love you
But I wonder if I should put up a fight
When I see you with him
When I see you light up brighter
When I see you do that girly thing
The way I know your heart is pulling away

I am trying not to love you
But my heart tells me where you should be
In this little heart-shaped box I've built
In this little heart-shaped room I've padded
In this little heart-shaped castle I've moated
The way a love had once wandered into

I am trying not to love you
But you are making it very hard

- by TC Lai