The Mist I'll Miss

The mist outside always loiters
Never coming near

I sometimes see what it hides
At times it doesn't always oblige

Silhouettes of things that be
Bodies of things, actually

I cup my coffee and ponder
Over rim, over aroma

And cock an eye over yonder
Lest the mist behaves even stranger

Do I have that 'misty eye', I wonder
To see more than what reality panders

But to me the mist does sing and talk
Or at least to me it pantomimes and walks

Telling me, I would imagine, the history
Of the hills and their former glory

Coz when the woodsmen come with axe
Kill kill they will with unflinching reflex

Empty the land of what once was
To build what earnings and profits gross

So perhaps this mist is billowing mad
In haste to tell stories of a dying past

Or is it slow and weighty
Depressed by an apparent reality

That the axemen might come soon
Scatter all that sing and croon

That wake and live and baby
Under that blanket green and dewey

I take my notebook and trusty pen
And start to note the mist, its rends

For there is a lament in there somewhere
Often blinded out by the sun's glare

A beautiful dawn it always is
A false dawn it appears to be

For if I am not 'misty eyed' and true
I will let the forapers kill and rue

Whatever I could have acted and done
To preserve the birds, the trees, the downs

For when they are leveled and gone
So too my mist friend and her pantomimed songs

- by TC Lai

That Jar of Cookies

To the unsuspecting eye

They are normal cookies

Cookies made for a festive time

Cookies bought from a store

But they are neither of these things

For they are made by hand

Misshapened cookies like those from Amos

Crumbly cookies like those from Anne's

They look like rocks from the sea

All jagged and rough

Like rocks in a limestone cave

Well slapped and eaten by time

But they are pretty to me

And so very delicious

For a careful hand made them

And a loving eye baked them

As her lips whispered

While she kneaded and folded

Words that made me special

Utterances that were one-of-a-kind

I love these cookies

And wish the jar always full

For that's when I know we are

Fondly remembered of a long ago

- by TC Lai

Sunny Skies (Again)

The joy of the sun after a season of damp
The joy of the sun after a winter of cold
And there you are all warm and bright
And there you are all smiles and sweetness
And there you are when all the goodness in me
Decide to poke out their heads and bask in the new light
The new life
The new beginning
And life again is hopeful,
Joyous
The heart, once more, sings

- by TC Lai

My Muah Chee Babe

I love my muah chee babe
No, no
She is not a blob nor is she jello

She is tall and soft at the sides
As a matter of fact, she is soft all over

Like muah chee.

And like muah chee, 
She has got me stuck

Stuck like a lovesick puppy
Stuck like a lovelorn Romeo
Below a balcony

Wondering when
His Juliet will appear

When they will spend an eternity
Together

My muah chee babe
My sweet dessert
My sweet sweet love. 

- by TC Lai

Li'l Branded Me

Big brands stay, small brands go
Small money grows, big money blows
On Chanel, Prada, Ferragamo...
Shud I buy or shud I go
Oh Chanel, Prada, Ferragamo...
My heart is tempted,
My mind says no
Oh my, Chanel, Prada, Ferragamo...
Aiyoyo, aiyoyo...
Go to party cannot no show
These Chanel, Prada, Ferragamo...
Die in coffin
Slowly decompose
I still think of my
Chanel, Prada, Ferragamo...
Too expensive to burn,
They were pawned to gold
My fondest Chanel, Prada, Ferragamo...
Over to the casino
My kids did go
All that money lost
In one single throw
My poor Chanel, Prada, Ferragamo...
Still shiny new with a brand new glow
They seem brighter
Than my kids, you know
Alas, I spent all my money on Chanel, Prada, Ferragamo...
When I shud have spent
On kids and their school
They would have remembered me like gold all told
More than any Chanel, Prada, Ferragamo...

- by TC Lai

The Sum of Us

It took us all a while to say "yes"
To find a date, a place... to get some rest
One with calm seas and infinity pools
Of guys with hot bods to make us drool

So we girls are finally here, the sum of us 
Through thick and thin, thru smiles and tears
A bond of strength, a bond of care
A bond of now, whatever the devil may dare!

For now we let our hair down, skirts a little up
Ooh, those knees, so long covered a li'l rust
Can they do any bidding tonite when the music's hot
When the cares of home, kids, work... bother us not?

Arm in arm we giggle and trot
Like girls we've become when school is out
Oh, what shall we do where can we go?
Now the reins are free, much mischief we can brew

Oh dang, too much of the rot has set
The mind is blank, a greyish slate
Like the roots of our hair burnishing white
Like the spots on our faces now ever so slight

Where have all our youth disappeared to
Where is our joie de vire, sexy do? 
Like a wet dog we shake ourselves up
Until hairpins drop, hair's messed up!

"Girls, let's get to a salon, a nail parlour!
A makeover is what we need, each a different color!"
And so off we went, the sum of us
Old clothes, old selves but brand new thirst!

This holiday place may look terribly welcome
The sea, the beach, the boys, the rum
But truely what is needed is a brand new sense
Of self and belief - to break all pretense

That back home is all that we can be
That back home is this need to be busy busy busy
Well, that "back home" is now a distant sway
For once, this person inside is coming out to play!

- by TC Lai (on an idea suggested by Sally (and Lucy!))

A Case of New

Virgin jokes, virgin smiles

Virgin hooker tries to coax my virgin pants down

Virgin recipes, virgin meals
Virgin cook caused my virgin tummy to not sit still

Virgin cork, virgin wine
Virgin bottle turned me into a virgin swine

Virgin looks, virgin frowns
Virgin artist color me up like a virgin clown

Virgin hems, virgin sews
Virgin dress me up like a shapeless throw

Virgin strums, virgin plucks

Virgin music an ukulele with not much luck 

Virgin smiles, virgin grins
Virgin suffers from a severe case of silly mygrin

Virgin winks, virgin knows
Virgin goes thru life like a virgin crow

And guess what? That's mighty virgin fine too!

*mygrin - opposite of migraine. To be struck with a silly grin all of a sudden, and one that takes a while to go away!

Dirty Dick

Dirty Dick digged and found a dict

Trying to understand his name

For what is a Dick when called a dick

Wouldn't you wonder the same?

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

And so digged did Dirty Dick into that dict

And found did, dill, dip, dish and dice

He then saw his name under faint moonlight

And realised its meaning wasn't quite so nice

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

Dirty Dick scratched his head 

Dirty Dick scratched his crawl

So that's why they had all laughed

That's why they had all bawled

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

"Dirty Dick no girl would want!"

"Dirty Dick never washed under the sun!"

"Dirty's Dick is rotted and gone!"

"Dirty Dick's fly is open and undone!"

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

Dirty Dick he undigged the dict

Placed it back where it is hid and snug

No dog should dig nor doggerel it

The dict that gave Dirty Dick his newfound drug

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

"A word a day is what I need

From A-Z and there back again

But first a new name is in order

No more jokes, no more pain!"

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

Dirty Dick then jumped into water

He scrubbed and he doubly rinsed

He took soap to his nether regions

And washed his dirty dick clean

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

"Look look, Dirty Dick's clean!" they say

"What a whistle! Look at him gleam!"

Dirty Dick smiled and coolly announced

"I am dirty no more, I am clean!"

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

"Dirty Dick is my name no more!"

"Call me Webster Web or Thesaurus Dict"

"A word a day is my proposed cure"

"Webster T Dict, is a dict I dig."

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

"He's Webster Dict, Webster Dict!"

"Never seen a more wetter dick"

"Wetter Dick, Wetter Dick..."

"Jumped into the river to wash his dick!"

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

Moral of the story: Dig a Dict but Wet no Dick. A Wet Dick Did Dirty Dick no Decent Deed. Nor Did Web the Dict even if Dick Digged Dict so Dick is Dirty no More! 

Yoga Is Fun

Yoga yoga very fun

Bend down over kiss my bun
Cricked my neck got stuck like that
The whole class laughed, sneered, clapped

Stuck like that, stuck like that

Stuck like Monkey
Wearing his butt for a hat!

Yoga yoga very fun
Lift my leg and touch the sun

Kneed my eye and got black eye
The whole class laughed, all teary eyed

Banged like that, banged like that
Banged like bat
Flying into a two-inch crack!

Yoga yoga very fun
Sit on floor no need t'run
One leg here one arm there
Someone's arm, someone's hair!

Twisted like that, twisted like that
Twisted like pretzel
Me, you and who's that?

Parent

A thousand miles our fathers walk;

A thousand clothes our mothers wash;
So to put meats on the rack;
Clean clothes on our backs.

Nary a reward they ask;
Nary a complaint they voice;

The smiles of their children their joy;
Their laughter a soothing oil.

Till bones bent and muscles weak;
They see them marry and babies born;
So their mantle they pass it on;
And hum life's splendid retiring song.

What The @#$%& Snake!

The Year of the Snake
Has not been kind to me
That's how it is
Born in the Year of the Water Bunny

I traveled to Brazil
On a 32-hr flight
Got there quite sick
Looking such a terrible sight

I was pale and weak
And fever high
There was pain in my ankle
Numbness in my thigh

An eye was red
And mighty swollen too
Had to see the company doc
For hours he "siamed" me too

Oh what malaise
Made my luck go rogue
Is it the Year of the Snake
That I am "sway", so terok?

I tell myself 'You must visit
Temple upon your return
Pray, pray for luck
Burn some joss sticks in the urn!'

I then climb the stairs
And somehow stumble and fall
Bruised the back of my knee
Here, there and then some more

"Sway ah! Sway ah!"
Is all I can say
Will someone please
Make it all go away!

I then fall asleep
And wake with a ear swollen
Did a goblin come
And love-bite me such I not awaken?

What crafty beast is this
That disturbs me in such wilful ways?
I've come to Brazil to work
Not suffer like some Samsui mah-cheh!

Well, everything seems okay
And calmer now
Still I keep an eye open
For a disaster lurking somehow

If I let my guard down
For just a sec
I might just end up
Once more a total wreck

Thankfully there is a friend
To share this with
I just hope the Year of the Snake
Hasn't reached out and sent him a hiss!

Surely the heavens know by now
All that I have gone through
By and by, here and now
A little black, a lot more blue

Time for the Snake
To beat a hasty retreat
Else this fed-up Bunny
Will turn fearsome and rabid

I'll get real mad
And blow a lot of steam
Bite the snake and
And make it scream

I'll chop it up
And drink its blood
To make myself strong
To satisfy my lust

There is so much
A lass can only take
In such a faraway place
With so much that's at stake

Striking workers and
Lousy candidates
Ooh, should I come back
Again another day instead?

No more, my head warns
A bit more, my heart says
There's the beach and sunset
And a hammock that sways

Ooh, I will surely
And truly miss all that
As well as a sun tan
And a good bikini wax

Shh, not everything of me
Shall be known
Let's keep somethings
Secret, my aura unblown

After all, I am still
A sweet twenty-something
To a guy whose eyes
Are stuck with hearts or something

Eyes that saw blue when
In fact it was chiffon lilac-pink
At least he got the dress right
The shoes size and what else, me thinks

He's a funny chap
Makes me laugh when I'm a little sad
It's nice when miles away
To have someone get on daily chat

I shall have to treat him
When I return months later
To a bowl of vinegar and trotters
A new mother's meal and supper

He's weird in that way
I'm weird in my way
So we'll have to see
How weird Brazil gets all the way!

- by TC Lai

On Each Passing Mile

Ah, Moogly - the moon in my sky;
Or moon in the puddle as I cycle by;
The lights shine but reflect your smile;
The road gets pleasant by each passing mile.

The sweat that beads down on my head;
Speak of the strain that lies ahead;
Of what you understand from my blogs;
Of what you see from my previous slogs.

Engineer, journalist or PR man?
None I suspect, but it's not plain;
For in my heart lies a truer love;
Something that slips on like a velvet glove.

It is a tad sad being unable;
To pursue a love so able;
One of design, one of buildings;
One of art, one of imaginings.

So one journeys through a varied life;
Making train stops by the countryside;
For when the view is sweet and lovely;
One forgets one's true, supposed journey.

But why quibble of a tasty draught;
That neither with money nor gold be bought;
As I cycle far and again ponder;
Of the myriad loves life has to offer.

I think of Moogly and a certain wax;
Of a football place and a certain hex;
Placed on those who happen to chance her smile;
Again I am not alone along each passing mile.

- by TC Lai 

Oh Why

Do you love me? I ask
You dare not answer

Do you love me? I ask again
You look away as if in pain

DO YOU LOVE ME! I then demand
My voice level but with edge

Do you love me?! I repeat
Again wondering if at all

Do you love me? I then plead
Hoping against hope

Do you NOT love me? I sob
Filling myself with self-pity

You do love me, right? I say
Wondering if there was something wrong with me

You did love me, right? I ask
Wondering if there was love at all

You know I love you, right? I say
Trying to rescue a lost cause

We can start again, I suggest
Realising how desperate that sounds

So this is it, I say
As I prepare for the worst

So this is it, I say
As you squirm in your seat

So this is it, I say
As you try to avoid my eyes

Is this it?
Is this it?
Is this it?
I ask
But an answer I don't really want

I'm sorry, is what you say
I'm sorry, is all you say
I'm sorry, is that all?

You walk away
No, you scoot away
No, you run away

Why is it with guys
They can't tell you how they feel?
Or is it with us girls
Who simply cannot let go?

Why did it happen today? I ask
When it is a time for lovers to celebrate

Why did it happen today? I ask
When a single rose could mean so much

Why did it happen today? I ask
When I had bought him a $300 tie

Why did it happen today? I ask
When he could have continued to lie

Why did it happen today, I ask
When someone else could have made that lie

Why did it happen today, I ask
Oh why did I let it happen today???

When everything could have been
Oh, so very nice?

Why, oh why, oh why oh, why?!
Had I gotta ask???

- by TC Lai

Trying Not To Love You

I am trying not to love you
But each time I see you
My eyes pick you out
My ears listen for your voice
My throat echoes to your laughter
I want to laugh with you

I am trying not to love you
But each time you pass me by
My nose sniffs the air
My skin tingles
My arm reaches out
I want to hold you

I am trying not to love you
But each time you sit beside
My mind is fired up
My thoughts wander to a story
My dreams put you in a special place
I want to start something with you

I am trying not to love you
But each time it is harder and harder
The way your hair dint the light
The way your lips say the words
The way your eyes corner up a smile
The way you are the way you are

I am trying not to love you
But I wonder if I should
Will my love be strong
Will my love last
Will my love blossom you
The way the Sun and Earth nourish someone

I am trying not to love you
But you are not helping at all
You share with me your worries
You say hi when a longways away
You oftentimes touch my arm
The way lovelies sometimes behave

I am trying not to love you
But I wonder if I should put up a fight
When I see you with him
When I see you light up brighter
When I see you do that girly thing
The way I know your heart is pulling away

I am trying not to love you
But my heart tells me where you should be
In this little heart-shaped box I've built
In this little heart-shaped room I've padded
In this little heart-shaped castle I've moated
The way a love had once wandered into

I am trying not to love you
But you are making it very hard

- by TC Lai

Hotel 88

I knew this girl from not long ago
We made love like there's no tomorrow

On a park bench, in a car seat
Even on grass like crazy dogs in heat

Then a police car came along
Shining lights, claiming wrongs

Our naked butts their beam did find
Oh no oh no, not this time!

Off we rolled into bushes near
Another couple scared, in similar fear

Run! Someone said in clear panic
We can't be caught, not like this!

I pulled my pants up in a hurry
Catching the zipper on my curly-furry

Ouch ouch ouch! was all I could say
Hopping hurt in a one-legged display

My girl she tried my shirt to tuck
Wondering if she had run out of luck

No worries dear, that piece is still quite good
No worries dear, it is still as stiff as wood

The men in blue were still advancing
Doing their duty or simply voyeurising?

So off we ran from bush to tree
The other couple hobbling not quite so ably

The man tore his pants and fell over
The girl lost her skirt and crouched over

The police came and stood over them
Tsk tsk tsk, said those from Uncle Sam

My girl and I had managed to run
Far and away from those men with guns

Not that they would use them anyways
On us, such public-nuisance-folks-on-display

Ha! I know it is somewhat wrong
To be making love amidst a grass-lain throng

Quiet though the park may be
With others quite intentioned the same as we

Still when the passion strikes
And the girl insisting tonite's the nite!

What can a poor boy do?
But play his part of male derring-do!

In any case the run was fresh
Got my lingam quite refreshed

The girl was bothered and naughty still
Won't take no and won't sit still

She pulled me away from bench and grass
Took me to a place of repute and class

A place where Geylang folks ate till quite late
Where stood a fiendish, pinkish Hotel 88

Oh my, what a crazy thought
To make love in this infamous resort!

In the night when all was done
And sleeping soundly like two dead drunks

The police came and knocked on doors
Checking ICs and questioning more

Some shone their torches on our sleepy faces
As we covered ourselves and shameful places

Sigh, we thought we had outrun them
What, only to bump into them again?

Out of my post-coital foggy haze
I could hear them "tsk-tsk" tsking away

The both of us did no wrong
Perhaps laying up in the wrong lorong

And so when the police did finally leave
Me and the girl was rather relieved

For she's not a girl and I not a guy
Just two creatures from some sci-fi

Yup, outer space we did come
To fornicate like two pally chums

Isn't it wonderful what the Earthlings do
On a bench, in a car or even loo

Much we learn and much we bring back
To our race of strange humpbacks

For we never quite mastered coitus
All we do is smell each other's anuses

And get turned off because of our diet
Farting badly to really irritate

So before we dropped off like flies
We'd send folks to Earth to realise

The art of making rabid love
Anywhere, everywhere, low and above

And now we know the ins and hows
Be not bothered but just kow-tow

Forget the smells and place
Just Do It, our saving grace

That now we may repopulate
Imitating Earth, building more Hotel 88s

A Song To Sing

(For all the women who want to "wiggle their bottom and break into song". Thanks, Nancy.)

What is it about a song that makes me so
I grab a mike and I suddenly become J Lo

The conservative in me takes early flight
I wiggle my bottom and shriek with delight

My companions are suddenly made aware
Ooh! How come she's never been there?

A life of servitude cleaning up a home
A life of commitment to a man who roamed

On the fringes of fury and madness
"Oh, don't blame me! I am like that!"

How to love a man who says such things
How to love a man who won't change things

So into this box goes all my frustrations
So into this box lives all my expectations

In this box, a rather large K-box
I find my friends, my fellow vocal box

That gives me voice to my other self
That gives me voice to my loving self

A song I sing I sing for me
A song I sing for the children of three

That they may grow to see the light
Of a loving gentleman's great delight

Of seeing his wife blossom in unfettered flight
Even if she is flirting/cajoling for just one night

For when the eyes are there and the love evident
He's the song I sing and the dance I dance

For "Impossible!" only puts up walls
For "Impossible!" only makes life sore

For "Impossible!" kills my voice
Should I settle for that coz I said my vows?

No, I shall not be battered and bullied
Nor my life lived in a narrow alley

Where I can see but liittle light
Where I can see but a dead end in sight

What I want is not "impossible"
What I want is a glimmer of "possible"

So what if I don't sound much like J Lo
At least I'm encouraged to reach keys hi, lo

To be loved for what and who I am
In a K-box, in a song box, in a kinship den

- by TC Lai

A Schoolboy Crush

It was a time of innocence
Of chalkboards and schoolbus distance
Of a girl whose sunny smile
Kept me distracted for a long, long while

My first present to her was a set of dolls
From saved pocket money as I do recall
All made-up pretty and dressed up nice
Not much bigger than two stacked up dice

A day in school did finally come
When I stood by her all silly and dumb
I could only look at her with loving gaze
All love-struck, speechless and kinda' dazed

From then on my head would swell
Whenever I got to school and hear the bell
For in class there was only joy
To see her laugh, to hear her voice

Chorus:
Then there's that thing she does with her hair
Then there's that thing she does without a care

Then there's that thing that leaves me weak
Then there's that thing that my heart will seek

A love so new
A love so true
A love I love... Only you

Now it is a time of reflection
Of old friends and youthful action
I recall that girl of darker hair and skin
Whose smile and eyes could shut out din

I know not now how she might look
Does she play the guitar, does she cook?
I remember her from Girl Guide days
Me with my NPCC and drill marching ways

Ah, I am glad for a puppy love expressed
At least I will not live forever in regret
For when one's heart is shining like a light
It should bathe the other with full delight

A virgin love is a treasure to keep
To remind us before our final sleep
Of a time when the world was right
And there sweetly I will go into the night

- by TC Lai

Once They Were Firm

I once had a chest that bounced off light
Now I have a chest that raises a baby's delight

I had it start all scrawny and ribbed
That carried me through adolescence like a bib

I then had pecs, no thanks to NS
All that chin-up, monkey bar and physical duress

I again discovered my manly chest
Dating girlfriends who whispered as they rest

I was quite happy to let it go
Soft as a pillow, for a baby I came to know

I heaved my chest over the years
To build a family from sweat, joy, tears

I carelessly ate and let the chest fat in
Now it is pasty, squishy and looking s'been

I once had a chest firm and sculpted
It now has mounds, a teenager's adulterated

I know the words for them but cannot voice
It is feminine, pubescent and dare say I, a joy?

I know, "WTF, WTF, WTF..."
Am I in love with my own manboobs club?

I cup them like soft unbaked dough
And feel a rise right down below

I care not now for the Pams and Jos
When my own manboobs taunt me sexily so

I was titillated but for a sec
Of what it means to own the opposite sex

I wonder what the other guys also think
Of a pair of small jugs, okay, looking thin

I shake my head and go "Nah!"
Better go get that manboob bra

I might not look good in a tee anymore
But do I want a race of Tits-to-the-Floor?

I once had a chest that bounced off light
Now I have a chest that raises a baby's delight

- by TC Lai

Sand In My Butt

I have sand in my butt
From I know not whence

I have sand in my butt
And it's making me tense

I have sand in my butt
Why should that be?

I have sand in my butt
Did I chop someone's tree?

I have sand in my butt
Was it a place I liked?

I have sand in my butt
That won't remove, I've tried

I have sand in my butt
That keeps reminding me

I have sand in my butt
Oh please, set me free!

- by TC Lai

All I Need Today

In these turbulent times of now

When farmers are even missing cows

So my milk goes a little sour

And life and dreams stutter for a while

The light in my fridge flickers on

Shining a little bare and upon

Not much, some scraps some bits

How much of a hunger will they meet?

Then a knock on the door

And feet sounds on the floor

Friends have come a-calling

What surprises are they now abearing?

A love of ham, a hand of eggs

Things cooked, things baked

They throw open my fridge

And stuff it full and make it peach

Oh, I am starved no more

For friends always come ashore

At times when one feels stranded

Their gaiety have always amended

What I might thirst or hunger

What that fortunes cannot aplunder

It's the presence of their beings

Of laughter, jokes and knee-slapping

It's when with them I hunger not

Even when my stomach is all in a knot

My heart and mind is leaven

Who cares if my fridge is not a heaven

All I need....are for friends to be around

Especially today when old friends are found

- by TC Lai

=== Note ===
The above poem was inspired by a friend's birthday poem below:

What's a birthday without birthday cheers
What's a cheer without friends and peers
Friends of old and friends of new
Peers of then and peers in queue
Friends who cares not what you are
But friends who care of who you are
Friends who see you ever so often
Or those who see you perhaps once upon
It no matter 'coz time waits for no man
And the sun no longer just give you a tan
Pigmentation and old-age spots starts apopping
But nothing beats good old friends who comes a-knockin
Happy Birthday TC
And may your birthday be filled with sweet memories
May Our Lord keep you safe, healthy and wise
To walk together in yours and your loved ones lives
God bless- Angie Cheang