[Sung to the tune of Don't Cry Joni - By Conway Twitty and Joni]
Najib (in earnest):
Rosmah, Rosmah will you marry me?
I'll be rich some day you'll see.
Using all my cunning just for you.
On your fingers a colored diamond or two
Rosmah (delighted):
Jibby, Jibby is that really true?
You'll work that hard till face turn blue?
Easier if you're Prime Minister
or sign the cheques as Finance Minister too.
Najib (beaming):
Rosmah, Rosmah you are really great
Give me ideas so I won't have to sweat
The first million I will give to you
And some commission to that fella Jho Low
Rosmah (curious):
Jibby, Jibby who is that fellow?
He always want to go shopping too
Aiyah, I buy women undies he also want to see
He always say never mind, he is your buddy!
Najib (assuring):
Rosmah, Rosmah oh please don't fret
Jho Low's the guy who will make us set
A life of luxury beyond anyone's belief
Coz we both wear the same pair of briefs!
Rosmah (relieved):
Jibby, Jibby now I rest easy
Not many people get to see my huge panties
If Jho 'Moonface' Low is truly your pal
Anything you both do I shall not tell.
Najib (beaming):
Rosmah, Rosmah now that's my girl
Stand by me and the world's a whirl
Of parties and cruises with Hollywood guys
The rest of Malaysia can go and die!
Rosmah (with caution):
Jibby, Jibby you must refrain
Let the world think you're an incorruptible saint!
The billions you'll take is for society
The in-bred fellas at the UMNO Party
Najib (grateful):
Rosmah, Rosmah again you speak of truth
How can I be PM without your tikus tooth
To bite and chew those who are against me
You must certainly be my First Lady!
Rosmah (shyly):
Jibby, Jibby you make me blush
I shall marry you but let's not rush
I still have a divorce to settle you know
With that Farid Emir who is so very poor
Najib (agreeing):
Rosmah, Rosmah I also same boat lah
We shall ditch our better halves and be ringgit gila
In this world of fast cars and personal jets
Who wants to remain a "kampungyet"
Rosmah (agreeing):
Jibby, Jibby you speak the truth
Having money means no aching tooth
Let's go all out to make a life for ourselves
And with this Jho Low boy who says he's the best!
(Najib and Rosmah hold hands and walk into the sunset. Jho Low, barely a toddler, follows in his diapers. That guy's a prodigy!) The end. - by TC Lai ;-)
Disclaimer: This is fiction. Any resemblance to anyone is pure coincidence.
Translation:
- kampungyet - kampung monkey (literal/derogatory; meaning poor/backward folk);
- tikus: rat - Rosmah's nickname, for when she has this mean look;
- "share his briefs" - Cantonese saying for to be in the same boat/co-conspirator.
Comment:
I think the question on everyone's mind right now in Malaysia is, what now brown cow? With Muhyiddin removed, the AG dismissed, and the media clammed down, the probe into 1MDB is pretty much dead. Najib has surrounded himself with party minions and is carrying on as if the 1MDB hoohah was nothing but a foreign stir-up. Najib is doing the "Let's carry on and not get distracted" strategy, hoping that with time (and other distractions, like another plane disappearing?) the 1MDB debacle will slowly fade from public interest. "Hey, trust me, the billions in my account is there for some good reason!" he seems to be telling his people. But if accounts of insider trading is true (the RHB takeover, with $300M pocketed), then Najib has to worry of being hauled to court once he is no longer in power. When that happens, the cards will really fall for those close to him, and the whole 1MDB affair will be laid bare. Najib can never let this happen. He and his family will have to flee Malaysia to avoid jail time! So, more the reason for him to cling to power.
Besides the "let's carry on as usual" approach, what can Najib do? Continue to be a Robin Hood to the poor and uninformed masses? Continue to give out handouts and subsidies? It has worked in the past, and this time round, with a couple of billions at his disposal, he can say, "See? I did it all for you." After all, he is the PM, FM all rolled into one. There's no accountability to hold him back. And it is a good excuse to use on the gullible. And Najib's stoic behaviour exudes that hey, I've been wronged and doing the best I can! Certainly he has shown that he is not the sort to jump up defiantly and say hey, I'm innocent! Najib has said he is a transformational leader. I bet in his private moments, he knows what is at stake and is wondering how to transform this horrid situation into something long term.
At the moment, he, Jho Low (and others) are the criminals. His party is backing him despite this fact. How long can it last, one wonders. AS LONG AS HE IS IN POWER. In some ways, it bears semblance to Saddam Hussein's rule. It's tribal, it's personal.
But what can any right thinking politician do? Keep quiet and let things be. Najib keeping mum about 1MDB is better than seeing UMNO self-destruct and lose the next election. So the preferred line will be: the govt is under siege from forces bent on bringing it down. Close ranks and defend it. We'll sort out the 1MDB when Najib is ready (though not likely to happen). Najib has to be indicted for 1) Mismanaging the 1MDB; 2) Party to siphoning money from 1MDB to God knows where!; 3) Receiving questionable and large sums into his own private accounts (he is a civil servant, so why is this allowed? In China Xi Jinping would have him arrested already.)
But I think a HUGE moment has arrived for Malaysia. For long the bumiputra policy has not worked, the racial lines remain deep, the education of the young a misguided mess. More than ever, Malaysia needs an LKY-esque leader. Malaysia needs rebuilding, reforming, and resensing. But who will stand up? Who is capable? And in late LKY's words, Who has the gumption? - TC Lai
Additional note: The other question that begs answering is: Is Najib corrupt? Or better yet, is he corruptible? On the surface, he seem quite naive to have millions deposited in his very own name. Did he think all bank transactions are secret? Or was he thinking of just parking those millions in his account to earn temporary interest before the funds are used. If you read the reports carefully, there's been money laundering, there's been insider trading. Did he think Jho Low his "fixer" - able to move funds here and there at will? Don't forget, with someone controlling those funds, it can disappear over night, siphoned off to God knows where, converted to paper value. Maybe Najib is just one dumb thief. If he wasn't Finance Minister, I don't think this would have happened, at least not with such ease and swiftness. - TC
