Dirty Dick

Dirty Dick digged and found a dict

Trying to understand his name

For what is a Dick when called a dick

Wouldn't you wonder the same?

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

And so digged did Dirty Dick into that dict

And found did, dill, dip, dish and dice

He then saw his name under faint moonlight

And realised its meaning wasn't quite so nice

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

Dirty Dick scratched his head 

Dirty Dick scratched his crawl

So that's why they had all laughed

That's why they had all bawled

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

"Dirty Dick no girl would want!"

"Dirty Dick never washed under the sun!"

"Dirty's Dick is rotted and gone!"

"Dirty Dick's fly is open and undone!"

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

Dirty Dick he undigged the dict

Placed it back where it is hid and snug

No dog should dig nor doggerel it

The dict that gave Dirty Dick his newfound drug

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

"A word a day is what I need

From A-Z and there back again

But first a new name is in order

No more jokes, no more pain!"

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

Dirty Dick then jumped into water

He scrubbed and he doubly rinsed

He took soap to his nether regions

And washed his dirty dick clean

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

"Look look, Dirty Dick's clean!" they say

"What a whistle! Look at him gleam!"

Dirty Dick smiled and coolly announced

"I am dirty no more, I am clean!"

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

"Dirty Dick is my name no more!"

"Call me Webster Web or Thesaurus Dict"

"A word a day is my proposed cure"

"Webster T Dict, is a dict I dig."

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

"He's Webster Dict, Webster Dict!"

"Never seen a more wetter dick"

"Wetter Dick, Wetter Dick..."

"Jumped into the river to wash his dick!"

For a dict's a dict whether back to front

A dick's a dick, no matter which son of a gun

Moral of the story: Dig a Dict but Wet no Dick. A Wet Dick Did Dirty Dick no Decent Deed. Nor Did Web the Dict even if Dick Digged Dict so Dick is Dirty no More!