Frozen, In Diarrhea Pain

(Sung to the tune of Disney's Frozen movie)

The stomach grows cold with a pain that's old
And I'm feeling quite jialat
A bowl of assam laksa and now I gotta go berak
The pain is throbbing like a swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried

Don't anyhow drink, don't anyhow eat
Be the good boy like mommy said you'll be
Say you're full, don't give in
See what's happening now?

Gotta go, gotta go
Can't hold it back anymore
Gotta go, gotta go
Quick rush in and close the door
I don't care if it's squat or sit
Just dun want the nasties
To bother me anymore

It's funny how Mother Nature
try to make you well again
And the fear of dying is getting real some more
It's time to see what ails me
If po chai yun or charcoal pills can heal 
Oh pain oh pain I need a quick remedy!

Gotta go, gotta go
My bowels got wind and sai
Gotta go, gotta go
Will I die from Cat 5 lau sai
Here I squat, and there I'll sit
Please, flies, don't come bother me

My tubies peristalt out so very easily
One big lump that's no inkblot mystery
A thought of mortality flashes clearly in the pan
Am I gonna to die, that SBM post my last

Gotta go, gotta go
I hope to rise up from this stall
Gotta go, gotta go
That perfect meal is gone
Here I squat, and there I sit

Let the nasties begone, quick!
What??? No toilet paper anymore.

- by TC lai

Frozen, In The Kitchen

(Sung to the tune of Disney's movie, Frozen)

The rice grows cold on the oven top
not a soul to be seen.
A kitchen in disarray amd it looks like I'm the queen. 
The tummy is growling like a swirling storm inside.
Couldn't keep it in, I just had to...fart.
Don't keep it in, don't let it out
Be a good girl and blame your better half
Hide the MSG, don't let them know
Well, now they know!

Let it go, let it go.
Can't hold it back anymore.
Let it go, let it go.
Welcome Ajinomoto through the door!

I don't care what they're going to say.
Let the rice burn on
The fan jui never bothered me anyway.
It's funny how some stock cube
makes everything taste good.
And the fears that once controlled me, can't get to me at all.
It's time to see what I can do,
Be the Martha Stewart or Nigella Lawson too!
No right, no wrong, no rules for me. I'm free!

Let it go, let it go.
I got the apron and wicked eye.
Let it go, let it go.
You'll never see me cry.
Here I stand, and here I'll stay.
In my kitchen domain

My fire burns through my wok my pot my pan.
My taste buds spiral to the heavens to the ground.
And one thought brings back a recipe or two.
I'm never going back; the past is in the past!

Let it go, let it go.
And I'll cook from the early dawn.
Let it go, let it go.
That kwai-kwai girl is gone.
Here I stand, in the light of day.

Let the storm rage on!
The kitchen oil never bothered me anyway.

- by TC Lai (inspired by an FB Singapura Best Makan post. Thank you, Ada Lyn, and her glutinous rice with chicken dish.)

Frozen, in Diarrhea Pain here.  

The Pipa Longan Lady

There was once a man named Logan Goji
Who had a thing about longans and wolfberries
One reminded him of a sweet love
The other recalled a wild dove

In a fine garden of stone tables and tea set
Longan Lady clasped a pipa and said,
"Logan my dear, I play you a tune
Of love and lament and ancient ruins."

Logan sat rapt and listened
As tears fell from his eyes and glistened
"Oh my, this woman's voice is so resonant
Of a profound love that's lost and not forgotten."

He felt as if that love was his
He felt a powerful love he could not resist 
Logan could never forget that Pipa Lady Longan
Who plucked a few strings and threw him a loaded gun

Into the garden flew a dove all white and pristine
She settled on the stone table in her beak a red thing
She dropped it into Logan's tea
It bobbled like a heart set on a sea

Logan watched, as the pigeon cocked an eye
That's me set adrift, lost and naked by and by
How did that lovely bird know
Logan asked, as the bird knocked the side of his bowl

He lifted and drank the sea with the tiny heart
It felt soft and vulnerable between teeth that's hard
Burst it did to send a flavour of flower
No longer a love he couldn't devour

Logan then felt a calmness return
No longer feeling a love lost and forgotten
He saw it well the garden, the pipa player and song
He was back to where he once belonged

"This tea with seed is indeed curative
Of visages that could cloud the imaginative
Oh, of what potency had Longan
Was easily defeated by this little berry runt" 

And that was how Logan began
To drink tea infused with Longan
To feel the things he could not see
To see the things he could not feel

And savour the moment long
Till a bite of the wolfberry ends the song
For great sight the wolfberry does give
To those mired in blurrish and strangeful deeds 

- by TC Lai

The Mist I'll Miss

The mist outside always loiters
Never coming near

I sometimes see what it hides
At times it doesn't always oblige

Silhouettes of things that be
Bodies of things, actually

I cup my coffee and ponder
Over rim, over aroma

And cock an eye over yonder
Lest the mist behaves even stranger

Do I have that 'misty eye', I wonder
To see more than what reality panders

But to me the mist does sing and talk
Or at least to me it pantomimes and walks

Telling me, I would imagine, the history
Of the hills and their former glory

Coz when the woodsmen come with axe
Kill kill they will with unflinching reflex

Empty the land of what once was
To build what earnings and profits gross

So perhaps this mist is billowing mad
In haste to tell stories of a dying past

Or is it slow and weighty
Depressed by an apparent reality

That the axemen might come soon
Scatter all that sing and croon

That wake and live and baby
Under that blanket green and dewey

I take my notebook and trusty pen
And start to note the mist, its rends

For there is a lament in there somewhere
Often blinded out by the sun's glare

A beautiful dawn it always is
A false dawn it appears to be

For if I am not 'misty eyed' and true
I will let the forapers kill and rue

Whatever I could have acted and done
To preserve the birds, the trees, the downs

For when they are leveled and gone
So too my mist friend and her pantomimed songs

- by TC Lai

That Jar of Cookies

To the unsuspecting eye

They are normal cookies

Cookies made for a festive time

Cookies bought from a store

But they are neither of these things

For they are made by hand

Misshapened cookies like those from Amos

Crumbly cookies like those from Anne's

They look like rocks from the sea

All jagged and rough

Like rocks in a limestone cave

Well slapped and eaten by time

But they are pretty to me

And so very delicious

For a careful hand made them

And a loving eye baked them

As her lips whispered

While she kneaded and folded

Words that made me special

Utterances that were one-of-a-kind

I love these cookies

And wish the jar always full

For that's when I know we are

Fondly remembered of a long ago

- by TC Lai

Sunny Skies (Again)

The joy of the sun after a season of damp
The joy of the sun after a winter of cold
And there you are all warm and bright
And there you are all smiles and sweetness
And there you are when all the goodness in me
Decide to poke out their heads and bask in the new light
The new life
The new beginning
And life again is hopeful,
Joyous
The heart, once more, sings

- by TC Lai

My Muah Chee Babe

I love my muah chee babe
No, no
She is not a blob nor is she jello

She is tall and soft at the sides
As a matter of fact, she is soft all over

Like muah chee.

And like muah chee, 
She has got me stuck

Stuck like a lovesick puppy
Stuck like a lovelorn Romeo
Below a balcony

Wondering when
His Juliet will appear

When they will spend an eternity
Together

My muah chee babe
My sweet dessert
My sweet sweet love. 

- by TC Lai