Next Time (or Trying The Manual on Romantic Love)

1. Line Up Chocolates to the Belly Button
Which direction, I had to ask
How kinky do you want to be?
So I tried it on myself
I bent, they all fell down
I had to eat them off the floor

Next time: Lick the chocolates first

2. Nibble on Ear
Animal, Vegetable or Opposite Sex? I had to ask
The cat scratched my face
The corn had to be cooked
The gal gave me a slap when I drew blood

Next time: Try on stewed pig's ears first

3. Pen a Poem
I love your eyes
They are as big as your knockers
I love your nose
They flare up like carburettors

I love....
She crumpled the card and threw it in my face

Next time: Compliment her ass ('As big as a car wash?')

4. Buy Her Flowers
She said she loved white
So I bought her white chrysanthemums.
Go and die, she said.

Give me a chance, I said
Buy me something orange.
So I bought her Day Lillies
They killed her cat.

Next time: Buy her plastic flowers

5. Cook Something for Her
Cooked her wagyu steak
She said she was vegetarian
Made her ice cream
She was lacktose intolerant
Baked her a cake
She said she rather have salad
Made her salad
She said she wanted rojak, not Caesar's

Next time: Get her a Kopitiam voucher

6. Walk Along The Beach
They say to find a moonlit night
When the stars are out
And the waters sparkly
And the sand smooth
First, she stepped into a pothole
And sprained her ankle
When she fell she gashed herself on beer bottle glass
Lying there she got swarmed by sand flies

Next time: Try the pool

7. Read in front of a Fire
It was cozy, the fire was kindling
Throwing gentle highlights onto her cheekbones
Also cinders into her hair
It burst into a ball of flame
And sent her running, into the snow
She fell head-first into the flaky ice
Like an ostrich in the sand
I ran after her but slipped and
Buried my face into her derriere
And found hair - not singed

Next time: Skip fatt-choy during CNY

8. Dedicate a Song on the Radio
I picked the station
Selected the song
And decided on the time
I even prepared the dedication note
Everything was perfect until
The radio DJ said her name wrong

Next time: Send her an sms and an iTune

9. Buy Her a Dress
Bought her a dress
She said it was a size too small
Am I saying she's fat?
Bought her another dress
She said it was a size too big
Was it meant for another girl? she said
Bought her yet another dress
She said it was the wrong color
Bought her a scarf
She said it made her look old
Bought her a cheong sam
She said I mock her
Bought her a sarong
She said I implied she was a slut
Bought her cloth
She said I was not sincere

Next time: Bring her to H&M and just pay

10. Go to a Movie
Bought the tickets
For plush seats
Bought the gourmet popcorn Garrets
And champagne wine
The lights dim
A man named Joker came in
Threw smoke and opened fire
She screamed, I screamed
She looked a mess, I looked a mess
She's not speaking to me ever again

Next time: Rent a dog and DVD

- by TC Lai

Cat

Cat, you came into my life unexpectedly
You were stray

But you won over my affections quickly
You were loving

And you were trustful
To let me hold

You followed me by my heels
From the ground floor to the 13th

You didn't even flinch
When we walked into the lift

You looked at me as if to say
"I am ok with you, right?"

Right you were, creature with
The sweetest smiles

Eyes that shine with intellect
A tail that hugs with affection

You were smart and learnt quickly
How to travel up and down

You were often absent at night
Curious you were, an adventurer you were

On the evenings when we  went out,
People were curious

No leash? they'd say;
Wouldn't she run away?

Nope, I would reply
And surprise then writ large on their faces

Children were always attracted,
Some shy to approach

I would teach them the right way
To say hello to a cat, to a dog

For to them a sniff is like a handshake
A pat unannounced like a threat

But around you, Cat
There's always kindness from children

Also unbridled joy
Unconditional love

Alas, things have to come to an end
It could not last

My old-time sinus betrayed me
Telling me with each sneeze

That our time together would be short
That this is not meant to be

How can this be when I am never like this?
Does age make one susceptible?

So a new home I found you
A new owner who loved you just as much

But I wonder, as a parent might wonder
If that child remained how my life might turn out

It still pains, but the happy memories remain
I sit on the same bench and recall

Cat, wasn't that a lovely walk?
And you would look up and beam: 'Yes!'

It's all the pleasure I ask
Cat, I miss you

- by TC Lai

[This poem is inspired by the painting (above) United and In Harmony by Juan Carlos Munoz and my own experience with a lovely kitten that I had fostered for a short while.] 

Mother Seed

They said f*** my face
I said no need
I've got seeds already

Seeds that will not grow into hatred
Seeds that will not ravage the land on which they stand
Seeds that will bear fruit to feed, not industrialise

As I speak, seeds fall out
Plantlings grow on the spot
They are my thoughts
There, up one rises
She is frightened, of what?
Poachers?
She is of torns, wary - to keep them away
My thoughts. But will it work?

I worry about the oceans
When fishes leave to never return
The whales echo, unimpeded
Voices swallowed by darkness
Where are the peoples of my sea
Why are the playgrounds silent?

A child springs forth
She is of vines, of scales
Her eyes are wide with fear
Of a net, a hook, a very loud noise
She is rooted, she cannot run
Only to wait... in fear

I cough, the air smells funny
A seed drops
This child, she is weak
She does not rise, but lies on the floor
She writhes, thrashes. Where's the sun?
Where's the water?
Where's the air?

I shake my head in disbelief
More seeds fall out
And yet some more

The children rise, of this and that
Soon, I am surrounded
by a forest of young plantlings
murmuring, muttering
Creating a hum of noise
of dread that rises to a crescendo

It shrinks me

I fall to the ground an empty gourd
Swarmed by my children...like ants
I'm seedless, dry, worn

I now walk weakened in that gourd shell
My children's voices rumbling on the other side
I am small
I turn a corner
And there she is...The ocean
Blue, bright, salted with life
Bordering her, a verdant forest
Birds flit in noisy harmony
Trees, tall - majestic

A stream runs by
It is clear, sparkling
I stoop to take a drink
It is fresh
I feel it emptying into me
Filling me up
Like my own blood would

I sit
A gourd in my hands
It softens
Flesh appears
then seeds

I think and a seed drops

- by TC Lai

(Poem was written after seeing Alicia de la Campa's artwork for the first time (pix above). Such lovely rhetorical pieces.)

How Could I...

Old school friends are like the favourite soft toy that we have put aside to pursue things grown up.

The soft toy that kept us company when we were alone; that gave us courage when we were afraid; that comforted us when we were wronged.

That listened to our dreams, our worries, our awkward attempts to understand the world around us.

But most of all, that favourite soft toy was there when we needed it most; for a hug and a grasp of the hand, a reassurance that the night though dark would soon be light again in the morning. As when a new day is born and when hope springs eternal. The tears will dry, the smiles return. Another adventure thus begins anew. We, together.

The years pass and I am grown. I once again say hello to this favourite soft toy of mine. It is a little tattered, a little torn. However, I am reminded of the warmth and unconditional friendship it has given me. And I say, not without regret, How could I not return to you sooner?

- by TC Lai

We Dance

[For dear Carmen, 2nd April 2011]

I love the waltz
for that is when I can hold you near

Feel the beat of your breast
and the sweetness in your breath

I know I know
I should watch my step

As we twirl and swirl
in a room full of unfamiliar guests

But we do not stumble
you and I

For we have a rhythm
all of our own

I dare not grip you too hard
For with you I can only be tender

Who would not be
With such a creature so slender?

Just to gaze upon those eyes
so kind and gentle

Beyond the music
Beyond the dance

I am swooned
by your many wonders

The softness of your hair
The sweetness of your scent

The lure of your nape
The curve of your waist

Though I stand taller
you are the perfect fit

For us to glide and swoosh
across the floor and more

People look at us
and marvel at our grace

So effortless
So timeless

How did they become
so good, to gel so well

It's as if we were
from another age

When worries and cares
touch us not

When the world was kind
and generous

When the world I believe
was carefree and young?

There is nothing like the waltz
When two kindred souls step in tune

Heart beating as one
Hands clasping as one

The world can be a blur
for all I care

For only you I look
and behold

For only you
the music must play

For only you
my lips will whisper

This waltz, this waltz
I forever dance with you

- by TC Lai

A Need, a Want, a Desire

I was asked how love blooms

I said it requires no seed

Then I was asked why it festers

I said 'cos it's a want that comes from no need

But there's always a great need!

A need to be with that special someone!!!

Is it a need, I ask, or is it a desire?

A need can be satisfied but a desire lingers

Yes, yes, it's a desire!

Oh how I desire her so

But why? 'Cos love is blind?

Oh, don't be cliche! Love is not blind

But is not all desire blind?

I have a want because there is a need

I have a need because there is a desire

And there is a desire because...

So it is not love

Just as a flame burns doesn't mean there's

a love for light

Just as there is hunger, not all food can 

make it right

So what is it with me and Angie

This lingering, festering affection

We could have been one, but we are not

We could have stepped out but I dared not

Not because I did not like her

Not because I did not love her
Sweet laughter,

Kind smile,
Soulful eyes,
and cute voice that was like a song in my ear

But I was mistaken

that there was still something between me and Dee

It had grown from a desire, a need, a want.

But the want was waning, the need was dying
And the desire gone.

Still you try not to give up
For love's path is not always easy.

But there's Angie
So natural, so comfortable
If only we had met sooner.

But without Dee, there wouldn't have been
an Angie, for they were mates from a distant land.

And so, what am I to do?
Leave one for the other?

My righteous self was disapproving
"T'is not right..."

And so that fateful day when Angie asked
"Be with me?"
When she actually said:
"How are you and Dee?"

I said ok when I should have said
"I rather be with you."

I could tell she was crestfallen, her shoulders slumped
And I wished immediately those words taken back

Though what came out of my lips
was despised by the heart
I didn't say more

Oh why oh why didn't I say more!
Oh why???

It's been long since Dee is gone
And so is Angie

All that remains
is but a photo in a red tin box

That on certain days
There is a great need to take it out
For a great want to see
those soulful eyes
that kind smile.
And a great desire to say
"Be with me?"

Sigh. Always there remains a need, a want, a desire

- by TC Lai

Next: We Dance

The Old Lone Tree - Valentine's Day Poem 2

I come home early

and the house is empty

I put the roses down

and go into the kitchen

No one's there.

I open the fridge and lunch greets me

with a note:

"Your favourite :-)"

I smile

It's not the first one she has given me.

I pocket the note and tuck in

I don't finish the meal for the quiet is unusual

Where is she?

I peer into the garden and see the flowers

tendered to by her loving hands

I stroke the curtains by the window

picked by her good taste

I then see the kitchen that has served

a lifetime of nourishment.

The dent in her chopping board 

the bald patch of her wok

the laundry dried and collected in a pile.

They smell of her favourite Lavender

It's all the cologne I've ever needed.

Outside the air is still

Evening has come and all is quiet

Even the crickets don't speak

What is going on?

I sit and wait. But no one comes

Soon night falls and our kitchen light

is the only yellow in the night.

I sit like that for what seem like an age

as the weather outside changes from 

Spring to Summer to Autumn to Winter

I see things grow, flower and then die

I see myself young again, laughing, partying

graduating, getting my first job, earning my first million. 

I grow fat and then thin then old

I sit alone in an expensive car parked by a big house

I have all the things I dream about

But just as I am old and dry

I feel hollow inside

So, this is how an old lone tree feels

Desperately bleached and hard.

A door opens and suddenly the world outside returns

I am back in the kitchen with my dinner.

My love walks in

She is smiling and holding a box

I grab her waist and hold her tight

I nudge my cheek into the softness of her flesh 

It is familiar, her waist, her shape

I hate to let go but I don't want to seem foolish

Is everything all right, she asks

I blink a tear away and smiles

So you found the present, I say

Uh huh, she winks as she says this

You know I hate expensive presents

I know, I reply, sheepish.

She unwraps the box and I fish the smiley from my pocket

I drop it in with the rest

She looks in and a thousand smileys beam back at her

Oh, you've kept them, she says, tears welling in her eyes

We hug and then kiss

Words unnecessary

The world outside grows quiet again 

and dim

For there is now only the two of us
As I taste her softness and she mine
I know I shall never be an old lone tree

- by TC Lai


Next: A Need, A Want, A Desire