I knew this girl from not long ago
We made love like there's no tomorrow
On a park bench, in a car seat
Even on grass like crazy dogs in heat
Then a police car came along
Shining lights, claiming wrongs
Our naked butts their beam did find
Oh no oh no, not this time!
Off we rolled into bushes near
Another couple scared, in similar fear
Run! Someone said in clear panic
We can't be caught, not like this!
I pulled my pants up in a hurry
Catching the zipper on my curly-furry
Ouch ouch ouch! was all I could say
Hopping hurt in a one-legged display
My girl she tried my shirt to tuck
Wondering if she had run out of luck
No worries dear, that piece is still quite good
No worries dear, it is still as stiff as wood
The men in blue were still advancing
Doing their duty or simply voyeurising?
So off we ran from bush to tree
The other couple hobbling not quite so ably
The man tore his pants and fell over
The girl lost her skirt and crouched over
The police came and stood over them
Tsk tsk tsk, said those from Uncle Sam
My girl and I had managed to run
Far and away from those men with guns
Not that they would use them anyways
On us, such public-nuisance-folks-on-display
Ha! I know it is somewhat wrong
To be making love amidst a grass-lain throng
Quiet though the park may be
With others quite intentioned the same as we
Still when the passion strikes
And the girl insisting tonite's the nite!
What can a poor boy do?
But play his part of male derring-do!
In any case the run was fresh
Got my lingam quite refreshed
The girl was bothered and naughty still
Won't take no and won't sit still
She pulled me away from bench and grass
Took me to a place of repute and class
A place where Geylang folks ate till quite late
Where stood a fiendish, pinkish Hotel 88
Oh my, what a crazy thought
To make love in this infamous resort!
In the night when all was done
And sleeping soundly like two dead drunks
The police came and knocked on doors
Checking ICs and questioning more
Some shone their torches on our sleepy faces
As we covered ourselves and shameful places
Sigh, we thought we had outrun them
What, only to bump into them again?
Out of my post-coital foggy haze
I could hear them "tsk-tsk" tsking away
The both of us did no wrong
Perhaps laying up in the wrong lorong
And so when the police did finally leave
Me and the girl was rather relieved
For she's not a girl and I not a guy
Just two creatures from some sci-fi
Yup, outer space we did come
To fornicate like two pally chums
Isn't it wonderful what the Earthlings do
On a bench, in a car or even loo
Much we learn and much we bring back
To our race of strange humpbacks
For we never quite mastered coitus
All we do is smell each other's anuses
And get turned off because of our diet
Farting badly to really irritate
So before we dropped off like flies
We'd send folks to Earth to realise
The art of making rabid love
Anywhere, everywhere, low and above
And now we know the ins and hows
Be not bothered but just kow-tow
Forget the smells and place
Just Do It, our saving grace
That now we may repopulate
Imitating Earth, building more Hotel 88s
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